Hines Happenings

Grumpy

2012-01-30T15:13:00.004-05:00

Anyone ever get grumpy about doing their job? Don't judge me...I sometimes do! Don't get me wrong, I love and enjoy many things about being a wife, mom and home maker. BUT, most of the time I wish that my job description regarding the house read: "Keep from becoming a complete disaster and clean for impending company." However, I have been very convicted over the last few weeks that that's not actually what my job description says. It actually says something more like: "Keep the house as clean and clutter-free as possible, while also teaching the children to live neatly and value organization." Gulp. Not doing such a good job with that. But, I have had some light bulb moments recently. Some of them are:

1. I am my most productive in the mornings. This is why I have often felt I have to choose between accomplishing something or schooling the boys on a particular day. I've realized this is because I really struggle to be productive in the afternoons. It has definitely been made worse by the fatigue that comes with Lyme, but I think I have always had this tendency. I often will get a "second wind" in the evening and do work projects then, but not always.

2. I need to do a better job of consistently doing general upkeep on the house so that the problem areas don't get out of control.

3. I need to do a better job of teaching my children to keep their things orderly and to train them to be helpers around the house.

4. I spend too much time "under the line" (i.e. quadrant's 3 and 4), according to Steven Covey's Time Management Matrix, see below. While the matrix doesn't specifically speak to a mom who stays home with her children, you can figure out where most of the things that fill our days fall. Some words to help further describe these quadrants are #1 Necessity, #2 Proactive and Productive, #3 Deception (they feel urgent, but aren't) and #4 Waste.

People tend to see me as a very organized person, which I guess is true in a lot of ways. So, I do really well on urgent, important matters. If something NEEDS to get done, I get it done. Period. Where I have been having a problem is with the things that would fall into quadrant two: proactive productivity, which in my house would mean general cleaning, organizing, de-cluttering and intentional time with the boys.

So, what I am doing to improve? First, I've been honest with myself and raised the expectations for what needs to be happening around here on a regular basis. Second, I am "requiring" myself to do at least one "proactive" task a day, usually in the afternoon when I normally would not be productive. Today that means cleaning the main floor bathroom before small group tonight so that it doesn't smell like a bunch of boys use it. (They do, which is why it smells that way...) Third, I completed a huge purge, de-clutter and organization of the older boys' rooms and we set expectations for how they need to keep it clean...tied to an incentive. More on that later. Lastly, I have committed myself to training my boys to be better helpers with the upkeep of the house. The older two especially are old enough to help significantly.

So,the incentive? The boys are able to "earn" the privilege of watching a 30 minute video and having a treat after dinner. This system has been in place for a long time, but has generally been tied to them having reasonably good behavior and not "un-earning" the privilege rather than really earning it. We've changed that. They are now on a point system where if they don't make their beds and have clean floors and surface areas at the end of the day, they lose points. On the other hand, if they have done those things, they earn points. But only enough to either have a treat OR watch a video. If they want to do both, the will have to complete a work project to earn additional points by helping out around the house: cleaning bathrooms, organizing bookshelves, vacuuming, etc.

So far, so good. I've been accomplishing things in the afternoons and making my way through some big projects around the house and the boys have been motivated to look for ways to be helpers, as well as to keep their own spaces organized and neat. So, here's hoping this becomes habit and that if you happen to drop in on us on short notice from here on out that you'll find a mostly neat house instead of a mostly messy one!

While I'm Waiting...again

2012-01-12T14:34:00.002-05:00

John Waller's song While I'm Waiting is another that has continued to resonate with me time after time. Perhaps this is because the last few years have felt like one waiting period after another. I was reflecting on this the other day and realized that this is probably true for a lot of people: we're always waiting for something. This is not always a bad thing, but I think this song has most often spoken to me when the something seems impossible. And that would be the case right now, in more than one situation. God has laid something on our hearts that is Big and Dramatic and Scary! And tied into it are so many pieces that are completely out of our control. In fact, most of it is completely out of our control. Now being somewhat of a perfectionist and control freak (ok, maybe not somewhat, but I really am learning to let go of things!), I strongly dislike loose ends. When we decide to go on a trip somewhere, even months in advance, I can't stand to not have everything booked as soon as possible. It drives me nuts when decisions take weeks or months to nail down. But now, ahhhh, God is asking me to HANG for quite a while without knowing WHAT is going to happen and WHEN! Can we say this is an opportunity to keep my hands off and PRAY? I don't when I have ever felt so challenged to earnestly pray for God's direction and wisdom.

Now, granted, there are some things that we can do while we're waiting, and so we shall endeavor to be good stewards of this "waiting time" that He has given us so that when He says "It's time" we're ready to roll.

Honestly, the desire that He has put on my heart seems impossible. With that in mind, I was so thankful when my Bible Study this week highlighted how God's ability to make the impossible happen isn't reliant on our ability to believe that He can do it. He's not inhibited by lack our of faith. Thank goodness. Or should I say, Thank You, God.

I have seen over and over in my life that when God places a desire on my heart, He makes it come to fruition in His perfect timing. And I trust that He will do the same in this situation, even as I sit here wondering (from a human standpoint) how that's possible. But here's what I know from a spiritual standpoint:

-He will provide (Gen 22:14)
-He will fight for us (Ex 14:14)
-He will give us wisdom when we ask (James 1:5)
-He will work everything for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8:28)
-Nothing is impossible for Him! (Luke 1:37)

And so we move to a period of waiting...again. And as the song says, we will serve and worship and be still as we wait for the Lord.

Things I'm Thankful For

2011-12-09T09:17:00.001-05:00

For a few beautiful weeks this year I thought I would be having a baby (girl) this week. Sunday was my official due date, but I probably would have delivered early, which means if I'd had things my way, I would probably already have been holding a beautiful new child and been in love all over again. But it wasn't my way. However, believe it or not, I am actually thankful that this did not turn out my way. Obviously I don't mean I don't wish for that fourth child. But this year was clearly not God's timing for that. And here's a few reasons why.

1. Over the summer, God made it clear that it was time for me to have my gallbladder removed. I could not have had it out while pregnant (except in the case of an emergency) and I am so THANKFUL that it is gone! I am almost pain-free in that department, other than some residual nerve issues, and am so thankful to no longer be dealing with the horrible pain that plagued me for years.

2. Since this spring, God has brought significant change and healing to our marriage. Perhaps this could also have been achieved while I was pregnant, but pregnancy changes things and I'll never know for sure. So, instead I'll just be thankful to Him for giving us the time and opportunities to make some changes. God has dramatically changed our relationship in several ways and has dramatically changed me as a person and a wife and I am so thankful.

3. Lyme Disease. Need I say more? But I will...not only does having Lyme make one completely exhausted and barely able to function some days, it also is transferable through the placenta to the baby. If I had had been pregnant when I contracted Lyme this Fall, not only would the added stress on my body from the exhaustion been horrendous, but I would not have been able to have been treated with the first kind of antibiotics that are always used with Lyme and would have had to worry about giving birth to a child with Lyme Disease in her blood. And I cannot imagine being in the later months of a pregnancy with both Philip and I being so wiped out and still being able to care for our three children and Philip continue working.

As much as I wanted that baby, I am thankful for God's sovereignty on not allowing it for this season. Instead, our number of children in Heaven exceeds the number here on earth for now. Who knows how Heaven works as new souls arrive, but perhaps God allowed our last lost son, Luke, who would have turned two this week, to welcome our new little into the presence of God.

His Will Be Done.

Happy...and Sad

2011-11-07T15:19:00.001-05:00

This must be a good time of year for lots of folks. Facebook is full of pictures of weddings and big baby bellies and cute new arrivals. I have many, many friends having babies this year and next. I have one friend having a baby as I type right now! It's a beautiful thing really, especially as for many friends this is their first child, and I am so happy for them. There is nothing like having that first baby. I am looking at mine right now...he'll be 8 in a few days. I was so young when he was born that I think I hardly appreciated the awe and wonder of becoming a mom for the first time. Or maybe even the second time. Andrew was a different story. Losing two pregnancies before having Andrew taught me a lot about how precious each child is and how much of a blessing it is to be gifted with another child to raise.

Even after losing the two babies between Joshua and Andrew I don't remember ever doubting that I would eventually have another child. I didn't know when it when be, but I knew he was coming. But now I feel like I am in a different place. I am honestly and truly wondering if I will ever be blessed with another child via my own pregnancy. And that is a really hard idea to swallow. I have lost two more babies since Andrew was born, but that's not really what this is about. It's more about my body and just not knowing what's going on with it. First we had to deal with the gallbladder problem and all the complications associated with it. Now that problem is mercifully gone, but in it's place I apparently have some internal scarring near the surgery site that I wonder what will happen to if I were pregnant again. And then there is this mysterious sickness that I am currently suffering from. Perhaps the antibiotics will take care of this and in a month or two I'll read back over this entry and laugh at how faithless and silly I was to doubt that my body would be ok for another pregnancy any time in the near future. But I am not in that position right now. And I guess that's not the position God wants me in.

I sense that He's trying to do something in me with regard to my view of more children, but I can't see the end of it yet. And as is often the case when I'm in the middle of something God is teaching me, it hurts. It hurts so much that I have actually started crying several times recently as I have looked at Andrew and my heart has just ached at the possibility of never bearing another child. How far I have come from the years when I just had to get looked at by Philip to get pregnant and not feeling sure I was ready to struggling with being able to conceive and sustain a pregnancy. My heart has certainly changed and I can now understand to some degree the pain and longing that those who are truly infertile deal with. The empty arms and the longing heart. My arms and heart aren't truly empty...in fact they are very full with three beautiful sons. But in my heart I know there are more children that are meant to fill our home and my heart aches and longs for them.

From one of my favorite chapters in the Bible: Psalm 34:18 "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Today I am thankful for this promise.

And I am happy for all those new lives coming in to the world. Those babies have some special parents. :)

Sick

2011-11-07T13:29:00.001-05:00

Philip and I are sick. We don't know why. We wish we knew why. We hope the antibiotics we're on are going to kill this thing dead. Forever. But we might be a little worried that it won't. We suspect it might be Lyme (although so far the tests are not confirming this, which is probably a good thing). We thought it might be mold, but that's not looking too probable at this point. It's responding to antibiotics. So what IS it? We'd appreciate your prayers that we're able to identify what this is and eradicate it. And please pray it's not Lyme. That nasty stuff is life-altering and I'd really like to have more babies, God willing. It's more than a little scary not knowing what's making you sick when the symptoms make living life and working at a job challenging. So we're praying for God to heal us and we're praying for us to trust Him while we wait for answers. Thanks for praying with us.

Birthday Boys

2011-11-07T13:18:00.001-05:00

Philip and Caleb have birthdays 10 days apart, so we celebrated them both last week. I had been so tired in the days and weeks preceding Philip's birthday (since our Niagara trip, really) that it was destined to not be much to write home about. I had been planning to make him a cheesecake, but the day before I had to negotiate him down for brownies. I didn't have the energy to make cheesecake. His brownies barely even got iced I had so little energy on Thursday. And we didn't get a picture, so don't ask. I haven't even written his birthday card yet. Sad. The good news is that I started on an antibiotic on Thursday night and by Friday had some energy and by Saturday morning I had enough energy to work too hard and restrain my internal scar tissue from my surgery. Go Angela. Anyway, I was able to decorate Caleb's cake in an ocean theme, which is what he asked for, and get gifts wrapped and the house cleaned before our guests arrived at noon. Sounds like no big thing, but when you've been feeling like death warmed over for a while...it was a big thing.

Philip, Caleb and Joshua went camping with another dad and his sons on Friday night as Phase 1 of the birthday celebration. Then we all assembled here Saturday for lunch, play time and cake and ice cream. It was low-key, but everyone had a good time, even the three year olds. :)

I can't believe Caleb is 8 (or will be in a few days). As they say, the days have dragged, but the years have flown. There are so many great things about having an 8 year old. We are really enjoying the greater maturity and his ability to really participate with many activities. We're so thankful for him!

The birthday boys

Caleb kept laughing and the air from his nose blew out half the candles. The irony is that when he tried to blow the candles out, he had trouble!

Playing one of the new games Caleb received: Pathwords. He loves games that require thinking! And Joshua, well, he loves being Joshua.

Happy 8th Birthday, Caleb! We love you!

P.S. I love Philip, too. We're just not quite as excited at his getting old. :)
P.P.S. I will be making Philip a cheesecake one of these days. Probably.

It's Back!

2011-11-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

Poor Joshua left his treasured "Bibi" (blanket) in his bed at the hotel we stayed at in Toronto. Note to self: always check the sheets for kids sleeping items before leaving a hotel. Lesson learned on that one. We realized we had left it when we reached Buffalo the following evening. I was really worried at this point as to whether ANY of us would be getting sleep that night since the blanket (which had recently been renamed "Bubba" after the blanket of a character in a book we recently read) was an important part of Joshua's ability to go to sleep. However, he handled it very well for a six year old and soon accepted one of Andrew's little blankets as an replacement and went to sleep.

Unfortunately, while I was able to call the hotel and immediately verify that they had found the blanket and were holding it in "Lost and Found", they were unwilling to help us get it back. We would have to send a courier who would provide their own packing materials to come get the blanket, package it up, fill out the customs form, etc. So much for friendly Canadians. I couldn't believe they wouldn't at least box it up. The rest would have been easy at the point. But no. :( And so we wondered if we would ever get it back.

Enter my local friend Jess whose husband is Canadian and had some friends in the Toronto area. They were able to locate one who was willing to go get the blanket and mail it for us. Joshua knew it was coming and for days whenever a package arrived (which was often), he would ask "Is that Bubba?!" But no, it never was. Finally on Friday afternoon just as the boys were headed out to go camping...it arrived! Here are the happily reunited pair:

So MUCH for friendly Canadians! Chris, we're so thankful for your efforts on our behalf! Don't think we'll ever be staying at the Park Inn in Toronto again, but we sure are grateful for the kindness of strangers.

Bakin' Stuff - Sandwich Cookies

2011-10-31T19:29:00.002-04:00

This fall, well really the last few weeks, I've been hooked on sandwich cookies. I made some last at least a year ago...they are just so much more time consuming than regular cookies I didn't make them again until about 10 days ago...and then I remembered how yummy they are. I first remade the ones from last year: Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies, filled with peanut butter cream and dipped in dark chocolate.

Then I got to thinking. What other kind of sandwich cookie could I make? It's fall, so I thought pumpkin. That got me thinking about this Gingersnap Pumpkin Cream Pie I've made a few times and so I thought why not try a ginger cookie with pumpkin cream filling. So, I hunted around for a good ginger cookie recipe. I finally settled on one that I had made a few years ago and deemed good, but kind of blah. So I baked them up, discovering that I needed to not flatten them before baking if I wanted a slightly more textured (and more attractive) outside. Then I tried to make pumpkin cream following the same recipe I used in the peanut butter cookies, but subbing pumpkin for peanut butter. The problem I had was that pumpkin is much softer than PB, so I had to add a lot more powdered sugar to get it thick enough. I also added some vanilla and pumpkin pie spice and then said, well, let's give it a go. I made half the cookies into sandwiches (figuring I should leave some plain in case they were a disaster) and put them in the fridge to get the filling to firm up. Philip and Caleb tried one a few hours later after dinner and both of them went nuts. Bear in mind, Philip is NOT a cookie person at all. I made up the other half and put them in the fridge. I brought some to a get together the next day and everyone went crazy for them, so I guess I am onto something with the combo.

Sorry, forgot to take a picture until there was one measly cookie left. This is one of the ones I flattened before cooking and doesn't have as nice of a texture.

SO, if you're also hankerin' for sandwich cookies, here are the recipes I used.

Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/oatmeal-peanut-butter-cookies-iii/detail.aspx
I made the following changes: I used slightly more flour, old fashioned oats and flattened with a glass immediately after removing from the oven. I also made them much smaller. Using a regular sized cookie scoop you will yield about 40 cookies. I felt like that size made the cookie too much once filled and dipped, so I used a tiny scoop and got 65-70 cookies. I found that 1/2 a recipe of the filling was sufficient. I used a melted dark chocolate chip (ghiradelli) for the dipping.

Big Soft Ginger Cookies: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/big-soft-ginger-cookies/detail.aspx
I made the following changes: I added 50% more spice and used butter, not margarine. I also used 3/4 cup white sugar and 1/4 cup brown sugar. I froze the dough for 30 minutes before baking. Again, I used the tiny scoop and I think I got about 60 cookies. I rolled them in sugar prior to baking...I think next time I'll use a larger grain sugar, not just regular white. I cooked them on parchment paper and flattened slightly immediately after removing from the oven. I allowed them to cool on the parchment paper for a few minutes on the cookie sheet, then slide the paper onto the counter top to continue cooling. This helps lock in the moisture. To make the filling, I used something along these lines: 1/3-1/2 cup canned pumpkin, 1.5 Tablespoon softened butter, 2 cups powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (guessing on this, just add until it tastes like spices!), maybe 2 Tablespoons of whipping cream and maybe a 1/2 teaspoon or so of vanilla. This will firm up in the fridge, so you can cool first, or use as is, then refrigerate the cookies.

Good luck! Let me know if you make them!

Family Photos

2011-10-31T16:29:00.000-04:00

We were LONG overdue to have a family picture done. In fact, the last time we had a family picture "taken" by someone other than a family member, Caleb was about a year old. And it was at Wal-Mart. So yeah, it was time. I kept putting it off for a variety of reasons, including I didn't want to take a picture and a few months later have another child who wasn't in it, but at this point I've given up on trying to schedule around that and figured it was time to just seize the day. My friend Kristen and her husband lived with us for about six weeks this summer while they were in a housing transition and she's a professional photographer. So, we figured she'd be a great person to do the pics. Her prices were reasonable too, so if you're looking to get pictures done, drop her a line. We went out to a Winery in the middle of nowhere and got some lovely shots. Here are a few of my favorites.

Those boys o' mine

I just love everything about this picture. :)

Two peas in a pod.

Have You Met...

2011-10-31T16:23:00.000-04:00

Mr. Putter and Tabby? These books have been a hit in our house since we first discovered them a couple of years ago. Now, we have a new little fan. Andrew, at 3.5, has officially moved on to stories from board books and just loves Mr. Putter and Tabby. We usually only read two books at nap time, but since discovering these, he usually starts the negotiations at five and we work our way down from there. :)

Our very favorite one from the series is Mr. Putter and Tabby Pick the Pears, but some of our other favorites are Paint the Porch, Stir the Soup, Feed the Fish, See the Stars and Bake the Cake. Not only are the stories cute and heart warming, but the illustrations are just perfect. We just love these books and give them frequently as gifts to other little people we love. The Loudoun County Library carries all of them, so if you haven't read them, go check them out!

School in our House

2011-10-31T14:37:00.001-04:00

Not surprisingly, I get asked often about home schooling and how we do it, what curriculum we use, etc. So, I thought I'd do a post answering some of those questions. This year is the most consistently we have done school and the most time we've put in each day. It helps that Joshua is finally ready to fully engage. We're out on Wednesday mornings, so we typically do the other four days a week from 9:00-11:30 AM, covering five subjects a day.

First of all, here are my students. Caleb - 2nd Grade and Joshua - 1st Grade

We use the Sonlight Curriculum. We are currently using our 4th "Core" from Sonlight. This year the Core focuses on World History from around 0 AD to present. Last year we did World History, part 1.

The Core from Sonlight (SL) includes Bible, History/Geography, and Read-Aloud books. In addition to that, we are using SL Science 1 (it took us two years to get through Science K, so we're a little behind!), Horizons Math (2 for Caleb and 1 for Joshua) and a hodge-podge of Language Arts Materials. We are using SL's program for some of it and then some additional work books.

This year I made each of the boys their own notebook (Caleb's pictured below) to have a place to keep their paperwork and activity sheets. Joshua is holding the Science Activities book because, other than geography, science is his favorite subject. Caleb is also holding one of this favorite books A Child's History of the World, which is the primary history text for this year.

Our Bible this year includes selected readings from the whole Bible, so it has us moving through the text much quicker than last year where we read all the way through both Genesis and Exodus and some of the Psalms, Proverbs and New Testament. It also has the "Awesome Book of Bible Facts" scheduled, but frankly, for these kids who are already very well versed in Bible facts and history, it's not quite so awesome. We are also doing the assigned Bible memory work. Additionally, we are participating in Community Bible Study at a local church and the boys have to complete lessons each week, same as me. This year we're studying the book of John. It's been great for them to be in a more classroom-like environment once a week and learn how to study the Bible in the process.

Here's our history/geography books. Joshua was determined not to like Window on the World at the beginning of the year, but I think it's actually grown on him. Each reading highlights a country of the world, talking some about both the spiritual state of the country, and what life is like there. Then it concludes with giving ways you can pray for that specific country, which we always do.

Here's what Sonlight's Core Schedule looks like it. This is one of the two main reasons I chose SL. We don't follow it exactly the way they break it out, for example, we only do His/Geo twice a week, so we cover all five days worth of readings in 2-3 days, instead of five. But, the framework is all there and I don't have to figure out the pacing or ordering myself. Beautiful. The other thing I love about SL is that it is a literature-based curriculum, meaning they don't use textbooks, per se. I may want another approach when the boys are older, but for now when I just want to focus on broadening their horizons and for them to LOVE learning, this works wonderfully! They love school time and always complain when we stop reading.

This year we decided to add in a foreign language, so we bought Rosetta Stone Spanish (Spain edition). Each of the boys does it for 20-30 minutes twice a week. It's slow going, but they are learning some and at least are being exposed to another language.

We also decided to add a typing program. This is the HIT of school time. The boys had never really done anything on the computer before and the typing program is geared towards kids, so it includes lots of games to practice typing. This is their favorite part of school. And it really is helping them learn to type. They "hen pecked" before whenever they wanted to type something, but are now much more proficient...it's cool to see.

Andrew, who is now 3.5 years, spends most of our school time just entertaining himself. We school for about 2.5 hours a day, four days a week, so that's quite a bit of time for him on his own. He usually stays in the family room with us or the kitchen with play-doh. Here is his creation from this morning.

And here he is all dressed up and nowhere to go. :)

One of my favorite things about home schooling is that it gives the kids hours every day to just play and be creative. Joshua's other great love right now is space. On the wall over his bed he now has huge solar system stickers and a poster or two. And of course, his collection also includes the infamous Planet Mars, of Andrew's Nose Fame. In addition to that, has created his own solar system for his door. In case you're wondering that all those extra pieces on the left are, that's the Kuiper Belt (asteroids) that go around the Sun and several of our planets. He loves his space room and solar system collection so much that he has declared his room to be a museum. He now has an "Open"/"Not Open" sign on the outside of his door. I laugh every night when I go into his room to turn his fan off and see the "Not Open" sign.

It's not astronauts and space exploration he loves, but the planets and such, but here he is posing anyway in the Ontario Science Museum. I think he makes a pretty good looking astronaut. :)

Anyway, we love home schooling and are so thankful that it works well for our family during this time of our life. If you're considering it, I'd love to talk to you!

Our Trip to Niagara Falls and Toronto

2011-10-31T13:45:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago our family took a five day trip to Niagara Falls and Toronto. No particular reason, we just up and decided to go. I am so glad we did! The weather forecast was looking bad as we prepared for our trip, but we prayed and prayed that we would have one nice day at Niagara...and we did! The first day we got there is started to rain not long afterwards, so we decided since we were already wet, we might as well get wetter! We took the Cave of the Winds tour where you go down to the base of Bridal Veil Falls (the smallest of the Falls). You're right there out in the water coming off the Falls and so it's quite powerful water...and pretty wet! The boys went onto what's called the Hurricane Deck and got soaked. They were thrilled. :)

Here are the boys at the top of the American Falls right after they got their first view

And on the overlook by the Canadian Horseshoe Falls

The day we arrived was our 9th Anniversary 10-12!

Here we are at the bottom of Cave of the Winds

On the Hurricane Deck. Looks delightful, doesn't it?

We stayed both nights in a hotel on the Canadian side, so after getting sufficiently wet, we dried the kids off in the car, had some dinner and went over the boarder. We were all so completely exhausted that *I* was ready to go to bed at 7pm! I think I managed to hold out until 9, but our whole trip was like that...exhausting!

Thursday was a beautiful day. Sunny and clear for most of the day and almost 70*. Here's a beautiful view of parts of all three falls. Since we went in October, the foliage was incredible, too. It was hard to capture with my camera, but it was stunning.

We took the Trolley all through the State Park. That was a fun, pretty ride. Our feet appreciated the rest, as well.

Getting ready to board "Maid of the Mist". Andrew did not want to go on the boat.

At the base of the American Falls

Caleb and Joshua loved it, of course

When we started getting wet, Andrew was not a happy camper. "Get me off this boat!", he yelled!

There were rainbows everywhere.

Here we are lunching right by the top of the American Falls. It's really quite amazing how close you can get!

Friday morning we drove up to Toronto, only about a two hour drive, even with heavy traffic going into the city. We spent the day at the Ontario Science Center, where Andrew had a massive meltdown at lunch time. He was exhausted. Need I say more? A two hour nap in the car with Philip after lunch seemed to help. Saturday, it was still cloudy and windy, but we decided since we were there, we would go ahead and go to the CN Tower. This used to be the highest free standing building in the world, but there are now two higher ones. I was concerned about paying so much money and not really being able to see much, but as it turns out, the horizon was clear enough that we were actually able to see across Lake Ontario to the city of Niagara Falls and even see the mist of the Falls. Pretty amazing.

The Tower includes a "Glass Floor". Andrew thought it was pretty awesome. The other boys were like "Let's get out of here,"

Andrew loved being up so high. He kept saying "Let's to higher!" This was as high as we were able to go, the Sky Pod about 300 feet above the first observation deck, and about 1465 ft up. This is the level we could see Niagara Falls from, although we didn't know what we were looking for when we were lower, so it's possible it was visible from there, as well.

After our trip up the CN Tower, we got out of dodge, err....Toronto. We headed down to Buffalo, NY to stay the night before heading home on Sunday. Sadly, we realized when arriving in the Buffalo hotel that Joshua's beloved blanket was left in the bed in Toronto. When I called the hotel, they said they had it and asked when I wanted to come pick it up. Ummm....we live kind of a long way away, I explained. They were unwilling to mail it or even box it up, so the situation looked pretty sad until a local friend found a friend who lives in Toronto and was willing to go rescue it for us. It's been mailed and every time a package arrives, Joshua asks "Is that my bi-bi?" We're still waiting, but hopefully those two will be reunited soon!

We were thoroughly unimpressed with Buffalo, but the boys were happy to get to visit a second Great Lake, Erie. It was unbelievably windy and cold that morning, so Andrew and I stayed in the car while the others braved the elements to get close to the Lake. Here they are on a seawall right by the shore.

And here's the boys right before all three of them went over the wall and got slammed with a massive, freezing cold wave from the lake! They got soaked! Fortunately we had almost enough clean, dry clothes left to get them changed. I say almost because Caleb wound up in recycled socks. :) But hey, what a story! Soaked at Lake Erie!

So, it was a wonderful trip and we're wondering where else we can go next time we get a hankerin' to travel. Lots of options, I am sure.

My Recipe Book

2011-10-31T13:10:00.000-04:00

I have been forced out of my blogging slump by a friend who wants to see my recipe book. Problem: she lives in Georgia. So I thought, maybe I should just blog about it. :) Whenever I speak to groups about "Strategic Grocery Shopping" (which has been three times in the last three weeks...and once more next week!), I always bring my recipe book along and talk about it because it has been a lifesaver for our family when it comes to meal planning. I don't know about the rest of you, but I struggle with coming up with meals that sound appealing to me one at a time, nevermind doing it four or five at a time! If I were left to own devices, we'd be in trouble. So, fortunately, about four years ago I put together my recipe book. I like it so much more than the handwritten one I had before (which contained my mom's recipes and others I had collected over time) because that one was not organized. You know how it goes, spaghetti recipe followed by brownie recipe followed chicken recipe. So confusing. So, a few years ago, I typed up all the recipes that I loved from the book, formatted everything nicely, categorized it and created my book. Of course, it's probably almost doubled in size since that as I've been broadening our horizons.

Here's how my book is organized:

The overall Table of contents.

Here you can kind of see the various colors for the sections (see above)

This is the Table of Contents for the Chicken Section. Recipes that are *** are the ones we tend to make most often and those are the ones printed on the colored pages. A nice theory, but I am not sure that it actually helps me find anything quicker. :)

Those blue chicken recipes. As you can see, at the bottom of each page it lists what section it's part of and what page number it is. We created a separate document for each section, which makes it easy to update the table of contents and to print the new recipes. Simply paste into the document, apply the formatting and print!

Yes, the dessert section is about 3-4 times longer than all the other sections. This is page one of two...or three. Who knows. Anyway, what can I say. I like to bake dessert. :)

Some of my fave dessert recipes. I can post this out where the whole world can see them because I actually modify a few things. :)

And here is the super-technologically advanced way we track our meal plan. Stunning, huh? I always have an excess of these long, lined pads, so they work perfectly for this. I always make a note on the days/evenings that will particularly busy so we can plan for leftovers or for Philip to cook.

There you have it! Hope it inspires you to make one of your own!

"This is the way, walk in it"

2011-08-03T09:31:00.000-04:00

The questions swirl. My heart is heavy. Sometimes confusion. Sometimes peace. The wondering. One decision impacts another. What to do? More than anything, I desire to be in the will of God.

So what do you do when are challenged to make decisions that you would have always said you didn't agree with before? This would not be the first time in my life that I was instructed to move solidly in one direction with a particular destination and some years later be told to redirect, all part of God's plan. Perhaps this is another one of those times? I don't know.

This morning I was brought to tears with the reminder that God is completely in control, that He absolutely directs our paths when we are devoted to following His will, and that He can orchestrate the impossible whenever and wherever He wishes. He has done that for someone I know, but in a way that brought to the surface promises He has given me that have not been fulfilled. Yet. YET.

This morning I went for a run in a slight drizzle, hoping I wouldn't get soaked. I always listen to music when I run, usually worship music, giving me 30 beautiful minutes to be focused on the glory of God. This morning, it happened that just at the time that the rain was heaviest, the Casting Crowns song "Praise You in the Storm" was playing. I've heard this song a few times recently and it has really been striking deep in me.

"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"

This is where I am. I would never have thought that this "storm" would have lasted as long as it has. I know it must be for God's glory, but some days that doesn't help. Like the days I am doubled over in pain. But as the song continues, so must I.

and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

He's got this. He's got ME. One day this pain will be worth it, the lessons will be clear, the journey (this one, anyway) will be over. I HOPE for that day. He has never failed me yet, but sometimes this journey feels like more than I can take.

I keep coming back to this passage of Scripture: Isaiah 30:20-21
"How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. ²⁰ Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. ²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”"

Soli Deo Gloria (to God alone be the glory)

Feelin' The Love

2011-05-25T16:03:00.002-04:00

Well, there goes another nap. Whenever words start stringing themselves together in my head, napping is impossible and writing is required. It's happened again today.

I am feeling so thankful today. One of the beautiful things about sadness and heartbreak is that often those around us rise up feel and the sadness and heartbreak right alongside, lending their support and strength when sometimes you just don't have any left. This, of course, is also true in celebrations of joy and gladness, but somehow it's easier to rally the troops for those. People know what to do when a friend has a baby or gets married. But the friends that are with you when you're in the midst of a trial are friends who are to be valued and honored.

As most of you probably know or have observed, I tend to keep my fingers in a lot of pots. I like to stay busy and I like to exercise my gifts and to serve. Caleb made me laugh yesterday when he realized that I had helped coordinate the church BBQ from Sunday. He said "it seems like everything time something special happens, you're the one coordinating it!" My response to him was "Well, when God gives you a special gift in an area, it's important to serve other people by using the gift." And I believe that to be true. And so, when God calls me to serve, I serve. Sometimes it wears me out. Sometimes I wonder why I give so much.

I remember back to when I had Caleb. We had only been married about a year and in the area about 18 months. We were part of an amazing small group in Annandale (and had recently moved to Sterling), but outside of that, we weren't very connected to anyone or anything. When Caleb was born, we received two meals; one from our small group and one from a random neighbor that Philip helped out with a project right around that time and that was their way of thanking us. I was very grateful for those two meals, as well as the help of my mom and other family who were in town some around the time he was born, but as any new mom will tell you, two meals doesn't get you very far when hubby goes back to work and the rubber hits the road. I remember the first week I was home alone with Caleb. I remember thinking Thursday night "If tomorrow weren't Friday, I think I might just give up and die right now." Having an infant is tough and receiving the support of meals is an incredible blessing! And not just for when babies are born. For this reason, I have brought more meals than I could possibly count to friends and people I'd never met over the years. Because I know how much it means.

Flash forward to now, seven and a half years later. We couldn't be in a more different place. We are surrounded layers deep by friends, old and new, people who love us and people who care, many of whom we know because of our many areas of service. Last week when we got the news, we received an outpouring of notes on Facebook and on email from people expressing their concern and prayers. And I appreciated every single one of them. Thank you. But I have to really give a shout out to those who went beyond that, to the people who said "I am bringing you a meal, which day do you want it?", "I am coming to take your boys for a few hours so you can be alone" and the ones that "made" Philip and I go out on a date on Friday. To the ones who picked up the phone and called and let me cry in their ear just so I could hear them say "I am here if you need anything." The friend that stopped to hug me in church and started crying for me and who looked at me and said "None of us wanted this for you! I wish I could take all the pain off you and put it on me." The one who put her day on hold and came to stay with the boys all the way from Lucketts on Monday because I'd had a painful night. The friend who called today and said "I want to know if there is anything I can do to serve you during this time." And everyone else who said "I am here for you. Tell me what you need and I'll do it."

This is the body of Christ in action. These are acts of kindness that people never forget. That I will never forget. And this is what motivates me to keep on serving and giving...because you never know when that one (sometimes simple) thing you do or word you say will be the one thing that gives someone the strength to carry on or fills them with the hope of knowing that someone really cares.

We are Jesus with skin on. And for some, we, YOU, are the only Jesus they will ever see. One act of kindness can change a life.

Could That Be Me?

2011-05-23T20:03:00.001-04:00

Ever noticed how sometimes God gives us a warning of what's coming so that it's not quite so much of a shock? This has happened to me more times than I can count and it happened again with this last miscarriage. Last week I was reading a blog written by a woman who was angry at God. She was at place of disappointment and confusion and was just mad. She said kind of laid out an ultimatum of "You better show up God, or I am out of here." As I read this last week I thought, "Could I ever get to that place? Could that be me?" I literally thought about how I would respond if I were to lose this baby. How would I feel? Could I be that angry at God that I would consider walking away from Him? My answer within myself was "No, I don't think so," but honestly, I wasn't totally sure. And then it happened. And my first response was anger. I am not sure who or what I was angry at. I think it was more the situation, the fact that this had happened. AGAIN. But, then if you start tracing roots...that would ultimately lead back to the sovereignty of God, so I guess if I was angry at the circumstance, by default, I was angry at God.

That night I actually opened up to Philip and just laid it out there. Poor guy, sometimes he's the last to know how I am feeling. But this time, I told him all the gory details. Cried, bawled and sobbed it all out, and woke up ok the next morning. And then some time on Friday, God brought to mind the song "Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me. This was a song that had spoken deeply to me sometime around the time of the second miscarriage/when I was pregnant with Andrew. The lyrics are amazing and so meaningful to anyone who has been through tough trials:

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

It was the bolded line "But if that's what it takes to praise You" that really struck me on Friday. And here's why. God has chosen to promise us a daughter. I don't know why. I longed for a daughter for many years, but I can honestly say that He has taken that longing from me and made me content with the boys that I have. But for some reason, He has made it clear to me that there is a daughter for us. And in November of last year, He gave me a special name for her. It's a name that has incredibly personal and deep meaning for me and what I've been through the last through years, and it was, in itself, a promise of healing and redemption. He has given this daughter of ours an incredible back story, and she's not even here yet.

Because of this back story and because of the ways He has been at work in my life, I know that when she arrives in my arms, HE will be GLORIFIED. When I remembered those lyrics on Friday, what hit me was this: He was going to be glorified through the birth of this baby, this daughter, in amazing ways. SO, if He chose to not allow this child to be born to us at this time, it could only be because He will receive MORE glory from her not being born than if she were. I do not understand how this is possible. I do not understand how this will play out.   But I do believe that His glorification is why I am living my life on this earth and if losing this baby will bring Him glory, then so be it.

Does it make this easy? No. Does this mean I won't have moments where I dissolve into a puddle of tears? No. Will I mourn this child every December as the due date passes and there is no birthday cake with a growing number of candles to blow out. YES. But, I do also know that the pain will diminish with time.   And I will choose to believe that when it's time to try again that God will give me the strength to face it. And I will choose to believe that even if I lose that baby too, it's still for His glory.

A few months ago I was reading Job and read this passage chapter 1:20-21, right after everything Job had and owned had been destroyed:
"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship ²¹ and said:
   “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
   and naked I will depart.^[c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
   may the name of the LORD be praised.”

I hope that one day I be at the place Job was. He was neck deep in grief, but his first response was to fall to the ground in worship. My first response this time was anger. May He continue to work in my heart so that I choose to worship...first.

Mourning the 80 Percent

2011-05-23T16:46:00.002-04:00

I have lost four of my last five pregnancies (Andrew being the 5th). That's 80%. I know that I had two healthy pregnancies (and boys!) before that, but mentally those don't factor in for me. Those came from a time of blissful ignorance; a time when I didn't personally understand all that could go wrong and all the heartache that could result from the attempt to bring a child into the world. I am so thankful, however, for the blessing of those two, as their presence in our family certainly does much to ease the pain of missing children. I won't say it eases the pain of loss though, because that is the same no matter how many living children one has.

Andrew continues to be a ray of light in our family. What would we do without that boy? :)

This one hits hard. This one leaves me saying "can I really try again?" It's not as simple as "being pregnant." I know many women are blessed with easy pregnancies with minimal issues. I am not one of them. Mine could certainly be a lot worse, but they are bad enough that's it really tough to muster up the mental stamina to want to willingly subject myself to it again. This pregnancy I had specifically prayed that I would not need to take anti-nausea medication (which you may recall I was still taking the day Andrew was born). I have used for it all six previous pregnancies and just didn't want to this time. And I didn't. And I was amazed (and slightly concerned) when at 9 weeks the 24 hour nausea I'd been experiencing for three weeks suddenly lifted. Now, I know why. In this case I actually had a cessation of nausea symptoms as a result of the lost pregnancy. So while the nausea wasn't nearly as bad this time, the physical exhaustion was awful. I felt like many days I could accomplish nothing other than some school with the boys and feeding them lunch. Forget dishes, forget laundry, forget running errands or making dinner. Or taking a shower. Just took too much energy. And of course on top of this I still continued to struggle with my gallbladder/digestional issues. Although, I am so thankful that they were not worse as a result of being pregnant.

So, I am just not sure I can handle another first trimester. I've had seven of them. This was the only pregnancy that ended before the second trimester began. When I lost the two babies and then had Andrew, I felt like I was pregnant for two years, as that's how long it was from the beginning of the first pregnancy until Andrew was born. And it was basically three first trimesters in a row. That was rough.

Apparently the miscarriage that I experienced this time is the "normal" flukey kind of miscarriages that most people experience. I just had the misfortune of not finding out until 10.5 weeks, despite the fact that there probably had been no baby since 6-8 weeks. I didn't have an appointment for so long for a variety of reasons, but my midwife and I have decided that if I do get pregnant again, I should just come in weekly starting around six weeks. So, I guess it's better that it was this kind of miscarriage and not the inexplicable kind that I have experienced three times before.

This post is getting too long to talk about how I am processing through this, so I guess I will have to come back to that. For now, thanks for your prayers.

"I Don't Know How You Do It All"

2011-05-06T15:10:00.000-04:00

"I don't know how you do it all." If I had a dollar for every time someone has said those words to me, well, I'd at least be able to buy a nice pair of shoes. :) But seriously, I get that a lot. I guess I am involved in a lot: homeschooling, small group, MOPS, cakes, singing at church, etc. I don't know. Most of the time it doesn't feel overwhelming to me. The first thing I always say to people when they remark to me about this is that it's God's provision of grace for me that enables me to do so much. And that is 100% true. Primarily I have children who entertain themselves and require very little intervention from me during the day (after school, of course). Except for lunch. Ahhh....lunch. If I could just skip from 11:00-1:00 every day and have everyone magically fed, I'd be a happy woman!! But anyway, today it occurred to me that there is another reason why I am able to do everything that I do. It's because I say "no" to a lot of other things. None of my children have ever attended pre-school, none are involved with any kind of sport, none take lessons or other kinds of classes outside of the home, and we rarely do playdates or other trips out of the house during the day. All of these things can be "good" things, but they are things that if I said yes to them, it would inhibit my ability to be involved in other areas. And for our family right now, this is the choice we have made.

Now, you might look at that list and say, "aren't your kids the ones suffering as a result though?" Well, you could ask them, but I think they are perfectly happy. We do go out and do fun things, we just do it every week. They have lots of fun adventures with Dad on the weekend, which gives all the "boys" important time together. When they are older, we will probably pursue the idea of sports or classes of other kinds, but for now, we are homebodies. And in the meantime, I have three boys who love to play together, who use their imaginations for hours every day creating "Thomas stories" in the basement, coloring and drawing cards and pictures, riding their bikes, building with Legos, reading books, listening to books on CD, running around in the yard, learning to garden, being helpers in the kitchen and around the house and all kinds of other things that happy, growing boys love to do. With plenty of time with Mom just being here if they need me and of course lots of time together reading and learning nearly every day. By homeschooling, we have given them the gift of time to just be kids, and in return their gift to me is the time to serve in some special God-given ministries for this season of my life. It won't always be this way, but I am thankful that it is right now. :)

Compassion Workshop

2011-05-06T14:24:00.003-04:00

Several of you asked me for more information about this class, so I will share a bit more about it.

How do you know you have anger problem? Here is a list of some common symptoms:
- getting angry in traffic
- not being able to take criticism
- blaming others rather than taking responsibility
- feeling irritable and grouchy a lot
- lashing out in a physical or verbal manner
- feeling frequently frustrated or angry with your children
- feeling out of control

The basis for the class is really coming to understand that when we react in anger to something, it is due to a deep inner hurt that (usually) has nothing to do with the situation we are reacting to. In the class, we learn how to show compassion on ourselves and acknowledge the hurt, then reaffirm our intrinsic value (which is not impacted by whatever the situation is). It is this applying of compassion and value to self that will help us show compassion and lovable to the other person in the situation. Afterall, perhaps they are also just reacting to a deep hurt?

Through the class we learn Biblical truths about anger. Is it really ever our "right" to become angry?

We talked about how to stay calm in traffic.

We learned about teaching our children to be compassionate and how to avoid power struggles.

We learned about harnessing our minds and changing our behavior by changing what we think. This is called "self-talk" and it is tremendously powerful.

We learned relaxation techniques for dealing with stress and anxiety.

We talked a lot about forgiveness, bitterness and resentment.

This class is a lot of work, but it is SOOOOO worth the time and the effort! I strongly encourage you to take it if there is anything inside you prompting "maybe I should do that..." YES! You should! It will change your life and your relationships by changing the way you think and giving you tools to take control of your anger.

You can register for the summer session being offered at McLean Bible's Loudoun campus starting May 16th here.

And the Beginning of a New One...

2011-04-22T13:45:00.000-04:00

Within 18 hours of officially leaving my MOPS Sale position, I was handed the reins to coordinate the new MOPS group that was in the works for McLean Bible Church's Loudoun campus! Man, when God moves, He moves! Part of the topsy-turvy, bumpy ride I experienced this Spring was finding out that this new group was in the works and I was planning to be involved as a leader. However, due to a variety of circumstances, this week the two co-coordinators made the prayerful decision that they would be unable to continue with plans to launch this Fall. I knew the moment I heard that news on Thursday morning that God was calling me to pick up where they left off and move forward. And so onward we go! God will absolutely need to move in some amazing ways in order to put a team of leaders together quickly so that we can really start to put the pieces together for the Fall, but one of the things that God has blessed me with over the past few years is an incredible network of people that I know. It's kind of become a joke among my friends: "I met someone...and of course they know you". Only by the grace of God. However, as a result, it's not even 24 hours since I knew I was taking this on and there are already 4-5 ladies seriously praying about joining me on the leadership team. That is the hand of God, my friends.

MOPS is a tremendous ministry, and one that has truly changed my life. It is for ALL mothers with children from pregnancy until the last one is five. Because we are going to be a night group, we'll be ministering to a different demographic than I've been used to, but it one where there is a huge need. This will be the first night MOPS group in Loudoun County, so that is super exciting!

I am so excited to be standing here on the edge of a new ministry. I feel overwhelmed, and a bit unsure, but because it is SO clear that God placed me here, I know that He will guide me and provide everything I need. My two years with the Sale were great training for taking something like this on, and I know that too was God's provision for me.

So, please pray for me as I work to start this ministry. And for those of you who are local, please send ladies who are looking for a place to connect or serve in the evenings my way! :)

The End of an Era

2011-04-22T13:32:00.000-04:00

Wednesday night it became official that I will no longer be coordinating the MOPS Consignment Sale. This "job" which has occupied so much of my mind, life and time for the past two plus years is moving on to someone else. I knew I was approaching the end of my time with it, but I had thought God was leading me to coordinate one more sale. Through a topsy-turvy, bumpy series of events it became clear that my time there in an official capacity was over. Of course I will still be involved though. The Sale gets in your blood and there is no going back. :) I truly loved (mostly!) coordinating the sale and know that it was absolutely the work God had for me during the last two years. I know the next gal taking over will do a great job and I look forward to supporting her as she serves.

Me and my assistant, Kelly, at the last sale.

Words I Never Thought I Would Say

2011-04-22T13:24:00.000-04:00

"I'm going to counseling" Or maybe I did, but not at this season of my life. Either way, it kind of came out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Anyone that has spoken to me at length recently knows that I believe that the physical issues I have been experiencing have everything to do with God getting my attention to deal with my spiritual and relational issues. Things came to a head in mid-February and just at that time God brought an amazing counselor directly in my path. It was 100% the hand of God. She and I have been working together for about two months now and I can truly say God is at work.

Right at the same time, God motivated a friend of mine to recommend to me that I take the Compassion Workshop that McLean Bible offers at their Tysons campus, which had just recently begun it's Spring session. As I listened to her describe the class, I realized that several relationships in my life have suffered as a result of a lack of compassion from me. This class, which finishes next week, has been life-changing. I would recommend that anyone in this area who struggles with ANY level of anger, resentment or lack of compassion take the class. It is a lot of work, but it is AMAZING. So many of my beliefs about anger and relational dynamics have changed as a result, as has my belief that I actually can change. Philip has listened to most of the class on CD and we both agree with the power of the message. It's changing the way we interact with each other and with our children. It's slow going, but so worth it.

Words I Never Thought I Would Hear

2011-04-22T13:13:00.000-04:00

"I don't think it's your gallbladder." Imagine how floored I was after several years of my gallbladder being blamed as the root of all my problems. The woman who told me this, Pat, is a physical therapist who practices visceral manipulation. I went to see her at the recommendation of another therapist I had been seeing to have an evaluation. At the time of this appointment in mid-February, I had been in nearly constant pain for close to three months. When I walked out of her office that day, I was a new person. I still experience problems (much more than I would like to, especially recently), but there has been a night and day difference from being treated by her. Which I why I keep driving to Bethesda.

So what is wrong? First of all, it is often my gallbladder that is causing me pain, but the reason is different than everyone has said. She believes that the issue is being caused largely because of scar issue I have on my abdomen (which is there from an emergency surgery at 31 weeks pregnant with Caleb...and it was two weeks following his birth that I had my first trouble). The scar tissue seems to be exerting a pull on several of organs on the right side of my body, particularly my liver, gallbladder and right kidney, as well as the bladder. It may also be linked to an imbalance of my Sphenoid, which is deep in the brain. An imbalance of the Sphenoid can also cause issues in other parts of the body, which I have also been experiencing for years, so it all makes sense when you look at the total picture.

So, I am mostly avoiding gluten, eggs, dairy and high fat foods to help manage what I can to ease the digestion issues, in addition to continuing to see Pat for ongoing treatment. I have some good days, some bad days and some really bad days, but overall I am doing much better than I was. That gives me hope that one day this may truly be behind me, by the grace of God.

Breakfast Bars

2011-02-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

A few people have asked for the recipe for the breakfast bars I've been making for the family, so I thought I would just post here. I got the recipe from my friend Laura and then modified it some to fit our needs, but I will post both the original and modifications.

I didn't take any pictures of the process, but it's pretty basic. Here's the finished product on the baking sheet.

And how we store them. Love this size Ziploc containers!

Here's the recipe:

Breakfast Bars

2 eggs

3/4 cup brown sugar (1 cup, original)

1/2 cup milk (1/3 orig)

1/2 cup applesauce (1/3 orig)

2 cups freshly ground flour (original uses regular flour, which is why the liquid is less)

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon baking soda

3 teaspoons cinnamon

½ teaspoon nutmeg

2 ½ cups oatmeal

1-2 cups raisins, nuts and/or chopped dried fruit (I use craisins, raisins and chopped walnuts)

In a bowl, combine the eggs, sugar, milk, and applesauce. Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices until just mixed. Stir in the oatmeal and raisins. Drop by spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 10-13 minutes or until lightly golden brown on top.

To bake as bars, use 10” x 15” pan and bake for 19 minutes at 375.

Enjoy!

2011-02-11T14:03:00.001-05:00

More questions than answers.

More problems than solutions.

More tears than laughter.

More hurt than healing.

More doubt than belief.

This is where I am right now. Struggling to find the right (GOD'S) perspective. Trying to get back to where I can see His hand directing and guiding. Trying to understand the "why" for some of this. Wishing there was an "easy fix" button for long-standing problems that won't go away.

Nothing I believe about God has changed. But sometimes taking that belief and applying it to painful situations is a process. A painful process. I always come out stronger in the end...but I am not there yet.

Some Good News

2011-02-03T09:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got the news that the Celiac blood test came back negative! Yeay! I could still have a problem with wheat, as there are things in there other than gluten that can cause issues, but this was a huge relief to me!

I am on Day 19 of the Elimination Diet now, so starting Sunday I can pick something to add back in from the common allergen list. I was going to do wheat first, but since I discovered last Sunday that I had accidently been eating barley for the first two weeks (and barley is on the "don't eat" list), I want to give my body at least a full 7-10 days without the barley before reintroducing wheat. Bummer...I've been practically salivating for bread! I think I might do tomatoes instead...not very exciting, but at least I could have spaghetti sauce on brown rice noodles.

My liver enzyme numbers also looked good, so that's positive. My therapist told me yesterday that the bottom area of my liver/gallbladder feel much better than they did a month ago, but that the top of the liver is still really tight and doesn't have good motility. I have been doing chest-expansion breathing, as well as some yoga, to help expand the chest area and help things loosen up. I have also been retraining my body to be more upright through the torso when sitting and standing. So, hopefully that will all continue to help.

The vitamin D number being 56 was also great news! 16 months ago it was 32, which is considered way too low and the borderline for serious deficiency. So, all those supplements have done something!

I also found out in December that my magnesium level, which was seriously low in December 2009, was almost to the level my doctor wanted to see. I guess I need to step up the supplements a little more in that department. I was kind of lax for most of the year after getting my 10 Magnesium I.V. treatments. But still, the number was pretty good, so that makes me feel better. It has been postulated, but not proven, that the low magnesium level could have had a negative effect on my ability to carry a baby to term.

So, the bottom line is, I am doing ok. I am continuing to have some issues with gallbladder pain, but it's a much milder, shorter last pain then I was experiencing before, so I have been feeling "better-ish".

We'll see how things go as I begin to reintroduce things. Please pray that I have wisdom and am able to discern what's a reaction and what's not.

Fun with Cakes

2011-02-01T16:16:00.000-05:00

I made this cake over the weekend for a little girl turning 5. I have to say, this is one of my all-time favorite cakes. I don't know that it's any one thing about it that I love so much, but all together, I just think it's perfect!

I am fortunate to have a sister who is a fondant figure guru. She helped me make the heads and bodies over New Year's while we were visiting and then I finished these little guys when I put them on the cake. This was one of those cakes that I really enjoyed doing, despite all the hours it took to complete. I'd say this was a 9-hour cake. Crazy, huh?

Update on the Allergy Elimination Diet

2011-01-28T12:22:00.001-05:00

Today is Day 13 of 21 on the Allergy Elimination Diet. Overall, it's going well. I have been eating pretty well and haven't had many days where I wished I could just eat "regular" food, like bread. Although, I definitely did not do myself a favor yesterday by making Monkey Bread for the first time. I wanted to make some bread to go with the Potato Soup for dinner (which I couldn't eat since it used white potatoes and milk), so I was looking around for recipes. I finally found one I liked, but it made enough for three loaves. So, I made one loaf regular, one portion into Herb Cheese bread (for the soup) and one portion into a pan of Monkey Bread. They all smelled amazing...sure wish I could have tried them!

It was surprisingly easy to make. I used almost 100% freshly ground wheat flour. I also used instant yeast, so only one rise was required, so it was quick as well. I used my Kitchen Aid Mixer and then kneaded by hand (didn't like how the KA was kneading the dough). Then, I just shaped how I wanted and let them rise for about 45-60 minutes. The loaf definitely rose the best...perhaps because it was worked with the least?

Here's how they turned out:

This the loaf, obviously. It has a nicer crust than our bread machine bread, as well as a softer and less dense texture. Philip said our bread machine bread is a 8 or 9 on a scale of 10, but felt this was a 10. Cool.

Here's the Monkey Bread. This was soooo easy. Just chopped the dough into little balls, dipped in butter and then rolled in cinnamon sugar (Caleb did that part). Put in the pan, let rise and then bake for 25 minutes or so at 350. So easy! I have a feeling I'll be bringing this to MOPS one of these days. (It's super easy to do all the work the night before and then put in the fridge to do a slow rise overnight. This is how I always make my cinnamon rolls).

Here's the Herb Cheese Bread. This one didn't rise that much, but still turned out well. Philip said it needed more cheese. :)

So back to what I was supposed to be posting about: my diet. The short of it is, I feel pretty good, but have continued to have some gallbladder problems. It often seems that the times it gets irritated are when I have not consumed enough fat with my meal. But, this isn't always the problem. I would say I had enough last night and my gallbladder was quite unhappy last night. So, I really don't know if I am going to find out I am allergic to something. We'll see. Over the next week I am going to start adding things back. Next Sunday (2/6) I will add something from the most common allergens list. I am still trying to decide what I will add back in first....but I am leaning heavily towards wheat. In case you can't tell from this post. :)

12 Years

2011-01-18T12:47:00.002-05:00

Well, I am a few days late, but last Saturday (January 15th) Philip and I celebrated our 12 year "Know-a Versary." For some reason, this date seems to get celebrated more than our actual wedding anniversary. Who knows why. But it's a special day, to be sure. Perhaps it's because our meeting was so memorable. Who could forget the fact that I very nearly didn't make it on the plane to Seattle in the first place, or the effort it took my friends to find a 4th person to join us on our swing dancing adventure (thanks Mayson and Laura!)? Or the way Philip kept "showing" up everywhere I was that weekend. Or the look on his face when I casually mentioned my "fiance." Haha...that's another story. :) Or the totally unforgettable departure-morning breakfast that Philip made me and my friend Laura. You know, the kind of breakfast he made all the time? Cinnamon rolls, swedish pancakes, orange juice, linen table cloth, violin music. Normal. Everyday. Obviously. Anyway, it was a really fun, special weekend and though it took quite a long time before our relationship turned into a relationship, I think it's safe to say we knew from the start that something pretty extraordinary had happened.

(I have to include this picture, just like I do every year. I mean, seriously, what's not to love?)

Marrying Philip was the beginning of fulfilling a life-long dream to be a wife and mom. We have certainly had our fair share of difficult times (mostly my fault...I know), but he has always loved me and supported me, no matter what I doing: from my job at Marsh, to those scary 10 days in the hospital while pregnant with Caleb, to supporting the decision to be a stay at home mom, my foray with Direct Sales, countless hours spent creating cakes, supporting and embracing the decision to home school our boys, standing by my side as we lost three babies, caring for our boys as I have spent evening after evening away from home over the last five years serving on the MOPS leadership team, and now with my health issues....supporting my desire to follow God's direction. And so many, many more things. He has never wavered in his loyalty to me, and I am so blessed because of that. I can only hope that I have been half the wife to him that he has been husband to me.

Ahhh...this picture makes me happy :)

We tried to speculate the other day on what our lives might be like when we hit "Know-a-versary" number 24. I'll be 42, he'll be 45. OLD. :) (just kidding) We'll have just passed our 20th wedding anniversary, have 19, 17 and 14 year old sons (and hopefully a few more blessings pulling up the rear). What will life be like? Who knows. But we pray that we will be fully engaged in serving the Lord, have the pleasure of seeing our children walk with God and able to look back and say that, in comparison, we barely love each now.

Here's to the future. To God be the glory.

Allergies and Gallbladders

2011-01-16T12:10:00.002-05:00

Since my health has been so poor in recent weeks, I have once again been researching what can be done for my gallbladder, or what may be the problem that we're trying to fix. Of course there is some conflicting information, but one thing that has arisen is the correlation between food allergies and gallbladder problems. Now, I don't have any food allergies that I *know* of, but am starting to strongly suspect I may have some unknown one(s) that is wreaking havoc on my insides.

For one thing, I have had low level pain in my abdomen since some time after Andrew was born that I feel when pressure is applied to the area. I don't ever remembering feeling anything akin before, and the indicated area is where the intestines are...which is an area that can easily be affected by a long-term food allergy.

It is also worth mentioning, that if this is indeed part of my problem, simply removing my gallbladder would not have nor would it solve the problem. It strongly appears that my digestive system is being compromised in some way, and that the gallbladder is the organ that is squawking the loudest.

So, what does this mean? I have started today the Allergen Elimination Diet (you can read more about this here). It will consist of 3 weeks without eating the most common allergens, including some extras for people with gallbladder problems. Then, you gradually (one food every 3 days) add the potential allergens back in and see what kind of reaction the body (and/or mind) has. So, here's what I won't be eating for the next three weeks:

90% of all food allergies are to these foods:

eggs
gluten (wheat, barley, rye and other grains)
corn
soy
dairy
peanuts
shellfish

COMMON FOOD ALLERGIES CAUSING GALLBLADDER ATTACKS

eggs
pork
onion
turkey and chicken
milk
coffee
oranges
grapefruit
corn
beans
nuts
tomatoes

Kind of a daunting list, huh? Fortunately, I do have a list of things I can eat, but obviously this will be a challenge. I can eat fish during weeks one and three, but not week two, so at least that will help some. "Fortunately" since I've been having such trouble for the last week, I was already not eating most of these, so a big piece of the mental work has already been done.

The connection between Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance) has also been drawn. I will be getting a blood test done to preliminarily test for Celiac in the next week. Please pray that it is negative!

In the meantime, I have also been preparing for another gallbladder flush, which I will be doing on Monday and Tuesday of this week. Since I will be fasting for it, except for pure apple juice, it doesn't really conflict with the Diet, so I figured I would combine them.

The side perk about this is that is also a detoxifier, and I needed to do another detox anyway.

So, as I go through this endeavor, I would appreciate your prayers. Prayers for me to stick to the stringent requirements of the diet, that my body will efficiently and fully detoxify, that I won't be *tooo* cranky during this process, and most of all that God will use this to help us better understand what's happening in my body so that we can make whatever changes are necessary. And that my body would experience the healing it needs.

As many of you know, I believe these health problems have been a tool of God in my life. I long for Him to be glorified through however He uses this in me. If it is through a miraculous healing, so be it. If it is through some other means, so be it. I just want to be obedient to what He is asking of me.

Getting Started with Homemade Bread

2011-01-06T11:04:00.003-05:00

If you had told me two years ago that I would be grinding my own grain and baking my own bread, I would have told you I was crazy. Of course, if you had told me I would eat only salad for lunch many days, be eating all kinds of "strange" grains, drink beet juice on a regular basis and any number of other dietary changes I've made; I would have thought you were crazy about those, too. It's amazing what a health crisis will do to your perspective on your body and your eating habits.

In the last 15 months I have learned more about the workings of the body and the impact our daily food choices make than I have ever known. And well I am still far from being strict or really doing anything crazy, in my opinion, we have definitely made some significant changes in our mindsets and the way we eat in our home.

I have found that for many of the changes, it's really all in what you're used to. Your palate really does adjust as your regularly expose it to things that you have before thought to not be tasty, or to taste bad. The first time I drank the beet juice (which is actually juiced carrots, celery, beets and cucumber, sometimes with lemon or parsley added), I could barely swallow it and usually resorted to the "plug and chug" method. However, over time, my palate adjusted and now I can say that it really tastes fine. I would go so far as to say I really like it (although Philip does), but I don't mind drinking it.

And so, when about 14 months ago I found out a friend of mine was baking her own bread, I didn't think she was crazy; in fact I was interested. However, at that time, with the gallbladder being at the height of it's crisis in 2009, I was unable to add anything else on. I kind of forgot about the idea for most of 2010, but in late fall found myself once again presented with the idea. And this time, I knew it was a step our family needed to take, for the sake of our bodies. You can read here about some of the basic benefits from homemade bread. And here about the importance of Vitamin E.

So, last month, we took the plunge. Everything arrived only about a week before we left for two weeks of Christmast traveling, so I haven't had that much time to experiment yet. We did bring bread with us for the first half of the trip at my in-law's, and the since my mom had wheat berries and a grain mill at their house, we were able to make bread for the second half of the trip.

Several people have asked how much it cost to get started, so let me lay it out for you. It was about $750 total, much of that in start-up cost that won't have been spent again. I highly recommend buying ingredients through www.breadbeckers.com. They have really good prices on most things. They also have many local co-ops that place orders quarterly. The closest to me is in Leesburg and orders in mid-January. Ordering through the co-ops helps save on shipping costs, which as you can imagine are high when you order 140 lbs of grain!

Here is what I started with:

Grain Mill –I bought the Nutrimill for $239 on Amazon. My mom has a Wondermillrmill, and it works the same. The biggest difference is the counter space. The Nutrimill has a more compact design. It is essentially all one piece and has the Bosch name. The Wondermill is a bit bulkier, but it is quieter.

Bread Machine - The Zojirushi (about $190) is what I bought. I liked the Zo because it has two mixing paddles instead of one. It has an up to 13-hour delay timer, several programmable settings, and makes a two-pound loaf, which is in the shape of a regular loaf of bread, which I like. My friend Anne also recomends the Breadman Ultimate (about $110). They’re currently both available at www.amazon.com . You can also use the “dough” setting to mix a lot of breads (i.e. like rolls) even if you don't bake them in the machine,
so for busy moms the bread machine can be more useful than the mixer.

(*Note, I have a 6 qt KitchenAid Pro mixer, but from what I understand, it's not recommended to be used with heavy bread dough. My mother in law tried it a few years ago with her rye bread and it just couldn't handle the weight and bulk. So, while it's ok to use those types of mixers for smaller, lighter breads, they aren't recommended for more than that. I am considering purchasing either the Bosch Universal Plus or the Electrolux Assistent Mixer, but they are both pretty pricey, so I haven't bought one yet. You'd only need this if you were going to be mixing up large batches of dough (for 4-7 loaves at a time) and not using the bread machine to bake. So for getting started, I don't think you really need one.

Ingredients. These cost me about $300, with shipping. But that cost should be much less with future orders.

Wheat –Hard red and/or hard white wheat is what you’ll want. Hard red is the highest in protein and most
nutritious, so it’s what I recommend as your first type to use. Hard white wheat is almost as nutritious,
but it has less flavor, so it makes great white bread and pancakes. I personally like to mix hard red and hard white when making our bread. Six gallon drums of organic hard red or hard white (45 lbs.) are about $32 from www.breadbeckers.com. After buying a bucket the first time, you can buy in 50 lb bags when you replace, which costs about $24. Soft white wheat is pastry flour and what you’d use to make cookies, goodies, etc. We haven't really tried this out yet, although I did order it. Wheat durum is what is used for pastas. Also, be sure you order a Gamma Lid for $8 also to reseal each 45 lb. bucket you order. I’ve heard small bags of wheat (just a few pounds) can be purchased at Great Harvest Bread Co. or Whole Foods, but it’s more economical to purchase in bulk (and wheat stays good almost indefinitely if not moistened or cracked). For example, the wheat we used at my mom's was purchased in 1999 and still good! If you make bread once or twice a week, a 45 lb. drum will probably last about 4-6 months. I am currently baking every day and a half to two days, so I'll go through it quicker.

You an also buy other kinds of non-wheat grains like kamut (which is slightly sweet) or oats. I plan on adding some other kinds to our regular wheat bread when I place my next order.

Honey –You will need lots since there's so much in each loaf! Bread Beckers carries several varieties that are “raw and unpasteurized,” but the Wildflower or Clover variety are great basic flavors. Costco sells honey, but it does not say “raw” or “unpasteurized” which means that it may be less nutritious. Each loaf usually uses 1/4 - 1/3 cup of honey, so a gallon should make you 48 loaves (1/3 cup/16 cups = 48). Bread Beckers charges about $44 a gallon + shipping for their honey, which works out to about $11/quart. I have been unsuccessful in finding local honey for less than that, but perhaps during "honey season" over the summer it may be possible. This is definitely the most expensive ingredient if you buy it "raw and unpasteurized". Buying regular from Costco is less than half the cost.

Yeast – I already had yeast on hand. I bought dry active yeast from Costco a while ago, I think in a 1 lb bag for about $4. When I was in Sam's recently, I noticed they sell instant yeast in bulk for a low price as well. If you aren't a member of either of those clubs, you can buy online in bulk for a little more.

Optional:

•Lecithin OR rice bran (either is fine) –You only need a small amount. Amazon.com, Whole Foods or almost any nutritional store carries the “Lecithin Granules.” The Bread Beckers carry rice bran extract, but either is fine (use half the amount of rice bran when substituting for lecithin). I have been using the rice bran extract. The recipes I use calls for 1 tablespoon per loaf.

•Flax seed –Optional but REALLY yummy and nutritious and not expensive. You can order in bulk from Bread Beckers for about $3/lb, or you can get a bag unground at most grocery stores for about $3-$5/lb. Wegman's sells it in their organic bulk bins for $2.50/lb. I recommend ¼ - ½ cup per loaf.
Grind the seeds in a coffee grinder not the mill. Flax seeds come in two colors: gold and red, but I’ve heard there is no difference nutritionally; much like the wheat, the gold has less flavor and the red tastes a bit nuttier.

•Gluten- Makes your bread the rise nicely. I have been using 1 teaspoon per loaf.

•Bread Beckers Recipe Collection -Several of my friends HIGHLY recommend the Bread Beckers recipe book, and it’s only $6 at www.breadbeckers.com. I have it, but haven't tried many recipes yet.

•"Do Not Eat the Bread of Idleness" CD –It's FREE and has great info. It’s available at www.breadbeckers.com as well.

It is a little expensive to get started and I'll have see what my cost looks like it's going to average out to per loaf. My friend estimates hers to be about $2/loaf, which is about what I was paying for "good" bread on sale from the store. However, the reason we have made this change wasn't for potential cost savings on bread, but rather for the positive impact this will have on our bodies and our health.

I have found the process to add very little work to my life. It literally takes me about 8 minutes to get everything out, grind the flour, add the ingredients to the bread machine and hit "start." The bread is done 2 hours and 40 minutes later, so the next morning, if I do it at night. I hope to branch out a little in the kinds of bread I am making, but for now, this is quick, easy...and yummy!

Philip did use the hard red wheat to make pancakes one morning. They were the best pancakes I've ever had. We tried the muffin recipe once, but need to try playing around with that a little more.

If you have questions, I'll be glad to help you answer them if I can. Hope this helped!

Month of Memories - December 28th

2010-12-28T17:11:00.001-05:00

Today I am remembering 1st Christmases. Well, I think it's safe to say that none of us actually remembers our first Christmas, but here is the photographic evidence of their occurrence. Here is a picture of baby Philip, with the whole Hines family, in 1977.

And mine, in 1980

And Caleb's, in 2003. As I mentioned in a recent post, the most memorable thing for me about this Christmas was having strep throat.

And Joshua's, in 2005. This Christmas was notable because it's the only one we've had "alone" since we've had kids. We had been to NC in September and didn't want to go back down so soon, and the Hineses had other plans, so we were extended family-less. We did have some other "alone" couples over that day for dessert, which was enjoyable, but mostly it was just us and the boys.

And, finally, Andrew's, in 2008. We were with the Hineses this year. It was unique in that some of Philip's other extended family joined us. Andrew and Joshua were born two days apart in the same month, so in these pictures, they are exactly the same age. Isn't it interesting to see the differences in their facial expressions. Andrew has truly been "Mr. Smiles" since he was eight weeks old. What a gift.

Month of Memories - December 27th

2010-12-27T14:48:00.000-05:00

The best thing about snow other than sledding? Building a snowman!

And one of the best things about visiting Charlotte? Lots of time with Uncle Tim and Aunt Deborah!

Awww.....love. :)

And then of course we got to have Christmas all over again! So fun!

Month of Memories - December 26th

2010-12-26T14:39:00.001-05:00

A White Christmas! Or almost. We came down from PA to NC today and were graced with periodic snow flurries the whole way as we drove through the mountains of VA and NC. It was actually a lovely ride. The trees were so beautiful. Once we arrived in Charlotte, we found about 4" of snow on the ground at my parents' house. The boys were thrilled to be able to go out sledding later this afternoon and had a blast!

Here's the house, all snowy and Christmasy

Caleb

Joshua

Andrew. Isn't this a great picture? :)

The snowy sidewalk

Month of Memories - December 25th

2010-12-25T11:04:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas! From our family to yours!

Month of Memories - December 24th

2010-12-24T10:27:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve! One of the things I've enjoyed most over recent years is attending Christmas Eve services. I don't ever remember going to one until about 10 years ago. If I remember correctly, the first service I attended was at a small Baptist church that my parents were attending in 2001. What made that service memorable was that right at the beginning the pastor announced that their piano player hadn't been able to make it that night and was there anyone there that would come play the Christmas carols. I got volunteered...and so I played. What a way to get initiated! :)

Philip's family has some nice Christmas Eve traditions, including Advent devotions and a special meal of Swedish Meatballs. This year the Advent devotions included making a special ornament with a symbol for each of the Advent words: hope, peace, joy and love.

We have also started the tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve, which has been very fun for the boys. Some years we go see Christmas lights on the way home from service.

Here I am with the boys this year, as we headed out to the Christmas Eve service. It was, of course, a kid-friendly service. One day I hope to be able to attend the kid-free Candlelight version. :)

Month of Memories - December 23rd

2010-12-23T10:24:00.001-05:00

Today I remember Gingerbread Houses. I first remember making them with some old friends, probably when I was 6 or 7. Mrs. Daniels would make large house pieces and real royal icing. I remember it always tasted yummy since she used lemon juice as the liquid. We would make some elaborate creations. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of those early houses, but as teens my sister Liz and I often carried on the tradition. Sometimes we even had Gingerbread House decorating parties, which were a lot of work since we had to make A LOT of house pieces! But it was so fun. Here are some pictures from over the years.

This is from one of those decorating parties, in 1993

Here we are hard at work assembling those houses. As you can see, they are quite large! On the right is Leticia, a Swiss gal who lived with us for about 6 months in 1995.

I gave my house from 1995 to our Swiss friends, the Knechts. We met them at a conference, maybe in 1994, and spent many of our holidays with them for several years, until they moved away a few years later.

They were such wonderful people!

Like cake decorating, gingerbread house decorating took a long break while I was in college and such. This the next one I remember making. This was in 2004 and I had two of the neighbor kids over to decorate smaller houses for themselves.

I then transported my house from VA to Georgia by airplane. No, it wasn't a regular carry-on size, so I had to ask the flight attendant to stow it on board in the "front closet," or whatever you call that. It made it to GA with hardly a loose M&M.

Then, we did such a lousy job of eating it while spending Christmas with Philip's family that I then transported it by car to South Carolina to give it to my family. I knew it would be quickly demolished by them, especially since my brother Tim (who was 15 at the time) was around. :) Sure enough, it was at least 1/2 gone by the time our visit with them on the Clemson campus ended. We met there because it was about halfway between Atlanta, where Philip's parents lived at the time, and Charlotte.

I don't think I've made another Gingerbread house from scratch since the boys have been born. I have helped the boys make houses from graham crackers a few times, including this one in 2006 when Caleb was 3.

My only foray with gingerbread house kit was in 2007. It was definitely easier, but nothing tasted very good, so I am not sure I'll do one again any time soon. However, the boys definitely enjoyed the process.

As the boys get a little older and their ability to decorate the houses themselves increases, I am sure the real gingerbread house will make a resurgence in our house. Making them are some of my fondest memories from growing up.

Month of Memories - December 22nd

2010-12-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

Today I remember our first Christmas with Caleb. He was only about 6 weeks old at the time. My parents and Tim and Deborah had come up to visit us in VA...and to meet Caleb. Unfortunately, what I remember most about that visit was that I came down with strep throat. But, we also got this picture. I am not sure who looks younger: Philip or Caleb. :)

Month of Memories - December 21st

2010-12-21T08:57:00.002-05:00

I remember yesterday when I heard about the lunar eclipse that happened early this morning. I remember thinking "I would sure like to see it, but not at that time of the morning!" The boys and I spent a long time yesterday morning learning more about eclipses and why they happened. Lunar eclipses aren't that uncommon, but it is quite unusual for it to occur on a Winter Solstice. The last time it happened on Winter Solstice was in 1638 and the next time will be in 2094. I guess my kids have a chance at seeing that one...but I don't think I do!

Last night we went to bed as usual...until God woke me up at 2:45, the exact time that the full eclipse was to begin. And not only that, He graciously positioned the moon so that I could see it out of the skylight in the master bathroom. I was able to see the beautiful eclipse as it became full, and enjoy it from the comfort of my warm home. What a surprising gift. :)

Here's a picture of the moon over the Washington Monument, copied from the Washington Post. Beautiful, isn't it?

Here's a link to the Post article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/20/AR2010122006447.html?hpid=artslot

Month of Memories - December 20th

2010-12-20T22:02:00.001-05:00

Hmmm....hmmm....hmmmm.... It's a good thing that December only has 31 days and not 40 or something. I am running out of ideas. Actually, I have a few ideas in mind, but none that I want to use today. Sooo....today I'll remember something my Dad told me a few months ago. He said that he thinks I have gotten more and more beautiful over the last few years (*blush* thanks, Dad). He also said he thinks it's because I get so much love from my boys. He probably meant the little ones, but I think we have to include the big one, too. The big one actually annoys me sometimes because he often will literally tell me "I love you" 10 times over the course of 15 minutes. It really seriously does annoy me and I'll say things like "Stop saying that!" I got it the first time, you know? :) I probably sometimes look a little like this...see below. (You might want to click on the picture to get the full effect of my facial expression. Ha. Can you tell I was surprised? Pretty sure this was the first time Philip laid any kind of kiss on me. Poor guy. Probably not the response he had in mind. But I digress...)

Well, apparently Philip has a love-speaking protege. Now that Andrew can talk, and after his first unsolicited admittance of "I love you, mama" a few weeks ago, I am getting barraged with "I love yous" from him, too! He and I sit next to each other at the table during meals and frequently he leans over onto my arm 5-10 times during a meal and say "I love you, too" (even though he started it). Oh man. I need to train this kid how to have a little variety in his sentiment vocalizations. But really, it is sweet, and I am truly thankful to be loved SO much that the men in my life feel compelled to tell me, and tell me, and tell me. :) And just think, if it's had this much positive effect in the last few years and I am only 30....just think what a stunner I'll be by the time I am 80.

P.S. I love you boys, too. :) (Aren't they cute? Who couldn't love these guys?)

Month of Memories - December 19th

2010-12-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

Today I remember when we first went to see the Gingerbread House display at Reston Town Center three (short) years ago. It's become a fun family tradition! Back then my boys looked like this:

And look at them now! The display is much bigger this year, as well, to celebrate the 20th anniversary.

Month of Memories - December 18th

2010-12-18T16:15:00.000-05:00

I remember when I first heard about my friend who had started grinding her own grain and making her own bread. I thought she was a little crazy. However, wouldn't you know it, the more I started to read and learn about our bodies the importance of the kind of foods and nutrients that go into them (and having a chronic health problem certainly makes you look carefully at many otherwise ignored things!), the more I started coming to the conclusion that perhaps this was a step our family needed to take as well. So, a few weeks ago, I took the plunge. I bought a grain mill, a bread machine and 150+ pounds of wheat berries and other ingredients. It all arrived by early last week and so last Monday began the bread baking adventures in our house.

Here is are the buckets of the three different kinds of wheat I ordered: hard red, hard white and soft white.

The first adventure was trying to get the lids off! The method suggested by the company I purchased from didn't work, so finally Caleb suggest I just cut a hole in the lids and leave the actual lid removal process for Philip when he came home. So, that's what we did.

The next step was to grind the grain. I bought a Nutrimill and have so far been quite happy with how it works. You can grind up to 20 cups of flour at a time, but I have been milling only about 4-5 at a time for the particular recipe I am using. One reason for this is that milled grain loses over 90% of it's nutrients within 72 hours of being milled, so obviously I am only milling for what we're eating imminently. However, at the rate we're going through the bread, I may start milling enough for two loaves, rather than one.

And here, a few hours later, is the finished product. It was SOOOO yummy!

Even the boys liked it. I was a little worried about Joshua because the bread he had been eating wasn't so "wheaty" and I didn't know what he would think. But, he was ok with it and has been eating it all week. I also wasn't sure about Andrew's reaction, but before he even finished the first piece he said, "Mommy, I want more!" :)

Saturday morning Philip decided to make pancakes for the boys using the new flour. Caleb declared "Not only is the new flour better for you, these pancakes taste better, too!" He was right. I don't really care for pancakes, but I have to admit these were delicious and I was eating them plain! It is incredible the difference in taste between fresh milled wheat flour and store bought wheat flour. There is absolutely no comparison.

So, it looks like the switch to homemade bread is going well. We hope to begin seeing the health benefits (like getting sick less and diminished sugar cravings) soon.

Month of Memories - December 17th

2010-12-17T18:42:00.008-05:00

Today I remember this precious song from two Christmases ago. Caleb had memorized a chapter from Luke just by listening to it on CD at bedtime and this song was the result. It's a little long and half of it is him saying "annnnndddd....", but it's so cute. Watch out for Joshua's antics at around 3:40. He starts "nursing" his elephant Humphrey. Obviously this was when Andrew was a little baby in the house. :)

And here is Caleb tonight, reciting Psalm 1 and Joshua reciting Proverbs 2:1-10. He messes up a few times on the tape, but he really does know it perfectly. I am so proud of both of them!

Lucky Winners!

2010-12-17T11:10:00.002-05:00

Slightly delayed, I am happy to announce that Rachel and Laura will be receiving the goodie bags from me!

I love Laura so much I am mailing it all the way to Washington State. She did introduce me to my husband, after all, so that earns her mailing rights. :) But I love her for lots of other reasons, too. She is one of my dearest friends, and a true kindred spirit, despite the miles that have always separated us.

And my dear friend Rachel lives just down the road. I have been thankful for her many times this year for a variety of reasons. Among other things, she is one of the kindest and gentlest people I have ever known. I am glad we're friends and I am happy to be able to put a smile on your face. :)

And so ladies...once I finish baking (got those Chocolate Toffee Crunch Bars in the oven now and the divinity is the last item on tap, scheduled for later today!) your goodies will be on the way!

Thanks for being wonderful friends to me and treasures in my life!

P.S. I love all the rest of you that entered to win, too! :) :)

Month of Memories - December 16th

2010-12-16T14:41:00.001-05:00

Today I am remembering to be thankful for heat. I am prompted to be thankful for this because today....we don't have heat! We picked the worst winter day so far to have our AC and furnace replaced (crazy tax credit motivation) and it's a bit chilly in the house. However, even though it's been 6 hours since the heater was running, the house is a nearly reasonable 61 degrees, which is definitely cooler than I'd choose...seeing as my toes are cold and my nose is cold, BUT...it makes me think of those people (including many in Loudoun county) who don't even have this much luxury. There are plenty of people who are homeless or who cannot afford to heat their homes above 60 degrees within only miles of my house.

And while it may be cold and snowy today, at least this is not the view out my front door. See that black spot between the tree branches? Yeah...that would be the top of the mailbox as we saw it (or rather didn't) on February 6th of this year.

So, while we run our gas fireplace and I bake bread and ham and drink hot tea to stay warm, I am thankful to be abundantly blessed, and thankful that we are blessed to be able to share of our abundance with those who have less. May we each watch for opportunities to touch someone's life for the better this Christmas season. To meet a need...and then share our Hope.

Month of Memories - December 15th

2010-12-15T13:02:00.000-05:00

Today I am remembering Little Luke, our son who was due a year ago today. As many of you know, even though he wasn't born into our family, his short (13 week) life has had a dramatic effect on my marriage and my life. Painful as another miscarriage was, the process that is triggered has been worth it. I am thankful that I have been guided through this process by a gentle and merciful God and I am thankful for how He has changed my life these last few months. I am thankful that He always keeps His promises and I hope that one day soon I will be able to truly consider this chapter of my life "closed." But, we'll never forget the son who started it all...and he'll always be part of our family.

Month of Memories - December 14th

2010-12-14T11:21:00.001-05:00

Today I remember my Grandpa Carlson. He died two years ago today, after a long fight with heart disease. He had a triple bypass the year I was born, if that gives you any idea. Grandpa Carlson was my mom's dad and when he remarried back in the early 1970's, he married a lady who was studying to become an LPN, who after they were married became a registered nurse. My Grandma Rose undoubtedly kept my Grandpa alive and living a good life for many years. She is a treasure.

Grandpa and Grandma lived in Miami, FL for as long as I was alive, so we couldn't just "pop" over for a visit. However, they did come see us most years and those visits were always a highlight for me and my siblings. Grandpa was a jokester and loved nothing better than spouting nonsensical things, such as referring to the telephone as the "smell-a-phone" or telling us that we should "run both ways and hurry back." He was always making us laugh and smile.

I only regret that my Grandpa was never able to meet any of my children. He was so sick in later years that bringing young children for a visit would have been too much stress on him. So, I sent videos and pictures quite often, and they occasionally talked on the phone to him. They know he was a wonderful man, and a Navy World War II hero. He was actually a mechanic on a ship, the U.S.S. Bowers, in the Pacific that was kamikazed. At dawn on 16 April, the destroyer escort shot down one attacking Japanese plane. Then at 09:30, two more planes came in, flying low and fast. Bowers maneuvered radically to avoid the planes as they split to attack the escort. The first came in dead ahead, but Bowers' guns brought it down. The second passed over the ship as her port guns came to bear. Despite the heavy gunfire, the kamikaze regained altitude, turned, and came in from a 45-degree angle forward. It crashed into the warship's flying bridge, spraying high octane gasoline over the bridge and pilot house. The plane's bomb penetrated the pilot house and continued down through the ship for 20 feet before it exploded and sprayed the deck with fragments. Fire fighting parties brought the flames under control in about 45 minutes; but 37 men from the ship were killed, 11 were reported missing, and many of her 56 wounded died later. All told, about half the men on the ship were wounded or killed. Thankfully my Grandpa survived, otherwise I wouldn't be here today.

Here is the U.S.S. Bowers with the crashed plane on the flying bridge.

My Grandpa with Liz and I in 1996.

Philip and I were able to visit my Grandparents in February of 2003, so I am grateful that at least Philip met Grandpa. I don't have a picture of that visit scanned, but here is my Grandpa on his 80th birthday, in January 2004.

We love you, Grandpa! Thanks for being a wonderful part of our family for many years!

Month of Memories - December 13th

2010-12-13T04:44:00.001-05:00

I remember the time that I wore my wedding dress to Philip's office Christmas party. Oh wait, that's not what I did. I put on my wedding dress because I wanted to see if it finally fit again (it does!!) and since Philip was wearing a tux for his office Christmas party, we took pictures! :) Too bad I no longer have my veil to complete the ensemble. Oh well. However, I we did conclude that I look better now than when we got married. If only we could re-do our wedding pics....but, um...I don't think it works that way. :)

Then, I changed into my real dress, one from about 10 years ago that I also haven't fit into for a long time...and off we went! Funny story about the dress though. The first time I wore it about 10 years ago, I spilled red punch on it. Turned out, it left a stain. I don't know why I never had the dress cleaned, but I didn't. I wore it a couple of times in the interim, but only when I knew the stain wouldn't be seen. I wanted to wear the dress this year, but was worried about the mark, so we decided to try to clean it with soap and water...and lo and behold...it came out. Who knew?!

Month of Memories - December 12th

2010-12-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

Today I am remembering the first time I realized I was going to have to start living on salad for a while. It was last year, probably not too long after the liver/gallbladder cleanses that I did. I realized pretty quickly that I was going to have to find some way of making it enjoyable to eat the same thing day after day after day for lunch. I also knew that these salads needed to be really filling, so else by mid-afternoon I was going to be mighty tempted to eat something I shouldn't. So the first thing to go was the lettuce. I don't mind lettuce, but it's not the best part of the salad for me, and if a salad was all I was eating, I could waste space on something nothing very filling. :) I also added walnuts and very often avocado. Both of these have good fats and added the extra calories I needed. Plus, they gave it some flavor. The walnuts are still my favorite part of the salad, if they bite has a walnut in it...it's a good bite. :) So, here is what my lunch looks like many days:

This is NOT a quick lunch. :) There is so much chewing involved it easily takes me 30-60 minutes to eat it, depending on how often I get distracted. :) Let's see, we have:
Broccoli (had to learn to really like that raw, but it's good for fiber)
Carrots
Celery
Red pepper (yummy!)
Green pepper
Cucumber and
Walnut

Sometimes I add craisins, or avocado, as I mentioned. I have to give big thanks to Philip, who the one who usually makes my salads for me. If I had to cut all that up during the day when I was trying to feed the kids lunch, it would never happen. Well, except it did on Thursday. Last week was really bad for my gallbladder, so I had to eat the salad, so I cut everything while the boys were distracted with Caleb's piano lesson. Worked out well, too, because they love fresh veggies, especially red and green peppers, so I cut extras for them and they munched away on those at lunch. Philip and the boys eat the salads with their dinners, so they aren't missing out on all those colorful veggies. :)

Even after God heals my gallbladder, we plan to continue eating these salads regularly because it's so good for the body. And they really are tasty. As long as I am not eating them 7 days a week for lunch. :)

Month of Memories - December 11th

2010-12-11T09:45:00.037-05:00

Today I am remembering why I love to homeschool, and particularly why I love using Sonlight, our curriculum. Moments like this:

Today I am busy cleaning and packing (this is actually Friday morning while I am writing this), but I still wanted to get some school done with the boys. Right now we are reading "Mr. Poppers Penguins" and the boys are loving it. So, I set Caleb up to read while I got other work done.

Joshua's favorite part of school, other than reading these great books, is the science experiments. Yesterday we did an experiment with air to see the volume of our lungs. We put a full water bottle upside-down into a bowl of water, then removed the lid and inserted a bendy-straw into the water bottle. Then, the boys took turns taking a big breath and blowing their air into the water bottle through the straw, thus displacing water equal to the volume of the air in their lungs. Joshua went first and displaced about 1/3 of the water in the bottle. Then it was Caleb's turn. He displaced the whole bottle and about 1/2 the bottle more (by approx time he was blowing)! We all got a good laugh out of that, as none of us expected his to blow Joshua out of the water (pun intended) by that much! I told Caleb this demonstrated why he was such a good runner. He's certainly got the lung capacity! :)

Caleb just loves learning, period. Every time we have a shorter school day than usual, he always says "I want to do more." He especially enjoys reading the many Usborne books we have. And of course everything we read aloud, from Missionary Stories to the Wizard of Oz and Doctor Doolittle. The last book we finished reading was Homer Price. Hilarious and ridiculous, but perfect for little imaginations.

I recently read an interesting article about reading and boys. Here's an excerpt from the beginning of the article:
"According to a recent report from the Center on Education Policy, for example, substantially more boys than girls score below the proficiency level on the annual National Assessment of Educational Progress reading test. This disparity goes back to 1992, and in some states the percentage of boys proficient in reading is now more than ten points below that of girls. The male-female reading gap is found in every socio-economic and ethnic category, including the children of white, college-educated parents."

and here's one from the end:
"Most importantly, a boy raised on great literature is more likely to grow up to think, to speak, and to write like a civilized man. Whom would you prefer to have shaped the boyhood imagination of your daughter’s husband—Raymond Bean or Robert Louis Stevenson?

I offer a final piece of evidence that is perhaps unanswerable: There is no literacy gap between home-schooled boys and girls."

I love it! And I can see this in action every day as we read and read and read.

Month of Memories - December 10th

2010-12-10T09:07:00.000-05:00

Today I am remembering the first time that Philip and I went away for the weekend after we had kids. My brother and his wife came to watch Caleb. We went to Harper's Ferry, WV, just for the day. It was in February, but the weather was beautiful and I got some great pictures.

And here's the little crazy that we left behind:

My in-laws are blessing us with a weekend without kids this weekend, and we are so excited! :)

Month of Memories - December 9th

2010-12-09T08:42:00.001-05:00

Today I am remembering childhood innocence. Today I overheard the following conversation while Caleb was having his piano lesson:

Teacher: So, Caleb, what did you ask for for Christmas?
Caleb: Uhhhh....
T: Did you give you mom a Christmas list yet?
C: Ummmmm....
T: You know, a list for your parents or Santa of things you would like for Christmas?
C: Actually, my mom said that we might not get anything for Christmas this year.
T: What?! But I see gifts under your tree already.
C: Yeah, those aren't for us. They are for other people.

What cracked me up about this conversation was how clueless he still is to the idea of asking for things for Christmas. Or even for his birthday. And I love it. Of course the boys will get some gifts for Christmas (and I did tell them this yesterday after the conversation!), but we really take a low-key approach to the whole thing. Since the boys don't watch TV commercials, they really have no idea what they don't have...and we like it that way. :) I will always remember how the only thing Caleb requested for his birthday was a placemat of the Canadian provinces. Priceless.

I know this won't last forever. But I am going to enjoy and encourage this innocence...and contentment with what they have...for as long as I can. It's a beautiful thing.

Pretzel Preview

2010-12-08T17:35:00.000-05:00

By request, here is a picture of the special Utz holiday pretzels. And as a bonus, on top is the Toffee Butter Crunch that Joshua and I made today. And as proof that even I have baking disasters, the doorbell rang at just the wrong time on the toffee. We left the pot with 20* still to heat up (which should have taken a good five minutes, by the pace we had been seeing thus far) and when we got back to the pot a few minutes later, the temp had overshot by 15*! So...we had to toss it and start again. Bummer.

Just as a reminder, you have until the 10th to leave a comment on the post form 7th if you want to enter to "win" the Christmas goodie bag. :)

Month of Memories - December 8th

2010-12-08T09:28:00.001-05:00

This morning I am remembering the value of Scripture memory. I am thinking about this because I am listening to Caleb and Joshua memorize and recite from Proverbs 2. This fall, Caleb has memorized Psalm 62, and both boys have memorized Psalm 1 and are now working on Proverbs 2:1-10. They have finished through verse 8 so far. This is the first year that we have worked on long passages or chapters. In prior years, we have only asked them to memorize isolated verses. The boys have been listening to CDs of the Bible when they go to sleep at night for years. This is actually how Caleb memorized Psalm 62. He listened to it over and over. And when he was about 4, he memorized a whole chapter of Matthew and one of Luke the same way. It was amazing. Kid brains are sponges!

Growing up, I only memorized isolated verses. We used a fantastic program called Scripture Memory Fellowship. They offer memory programs for everyone from preschool to adult. All three of us older kids (and maybe the younger 2, as well), did all the books for the grades 1-12. It was a great exercise and a wonderful way to become more familiar with Scripture. The most intense period of memorization I had was when I went on Teen Missions in 1995. They require everyone to memorize 40 verses over the course of the 8 weeks summer program, but of course you don't have 8 weeks to memorize because starting almost right away are the daily Quiz Offs. For people like me who can memorize easily, they Quiz Offs were a blast. The verse prompts were given a multitude of ways and you had 30 seconds from when you stood and were told "go" to give the correct verse correctly. For example, sometimes they would start with the reference "Romans...." and there were 8 Romans verses. So, those of us who were confident, could jump up as soon as they started to say Romans and start reciting all 8 verses as fast as possible, hoping to get to the right one before time ran out. Sometimes they would start at the end of the verse and give you the last word, then the second to last word. What a blast. I did very well with those quizzes and I loved them! We were given the verses on a pack of cards, and the cards/verses were labeled #1-40 for ease of identification and keeping them in order. I had them memorized by those numbers as well, so if you asked me to recite verse 25...I could. Useless, I know, but a kick for someone with a brain like mine. :) In 2000 I went on Teen Missions again as a leader and really enjoyed being on the other side of the quizzing. And, of course, there were leaders vs teens and leaders vs leader quiz offs, as well, so I didn't totally miss out. And if I remember correctly, when were at the 5 team debrief in the Philippines at the end of the trip and had the leaders champion quiz off, the team I was on won. :) Not that I was competitive or anything. But hey, if you're going to be competitive, what better thing to compete over than who knows their Scriptures best.

So, we intend to keep these boys memorizing...and ourselves as well. There is no substitute for knowing where to find a Scripture when you need it, or being able to share with someone when you don't have a Bible on you. And it helps keep us walking in obedience: "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11

Month of Memories - December 7th

2010-12-07T16:18:00.001-05:00

Today I am thinking about baking again. Must be because I spend a lot of time in the kitchen in the month of December! But what I am remembering is back when I was 17, I was involved with some friends in a ministry at a local nursing home. We would go every few weeks and do a mini church service for them. I would play some hymns on the piano and we would all sing, and a friend would share a few words. Then, we would visit with the residents...and sometimes I would play piano some more. Music is such a gift, isn't it? I remember that Christmas I baked SOOOO many cookies to take to the nursing home. I can't remember if we did a special program or something, but I do remember baking and baking those cookies! :)

I bake lots and lots at Christmas time because I love to give goodies away. We seriously hardly eat any of it. We save a few of everything, but every year I put together 5-10 tins or bags of a variety of goodies and give them to people (this year I have lots of bags...and lots of pretzels!, so who knows) Who these people are varies. One year it was mostly neighbors. Last year it was mostly friends from church. It depends a lot of when I get the baking done and who I see shortly thereafter! :) I always include chocolate covered pretzels (which I have been working on for the last two days over here. I have done trays and trays!). This year is extra fun because Utz decided to market its pretzels directly to me by making a special holiday edition. The pretzels are shaped like Christmas trees, stars and bells. Seriously, how was I going to say no to that. And I must say, they look lovely covered in chocolate! :) Maybe I should take a picture of them...they are delightful. I also always include my famous fudge and divinity. My dad loves my fudge and divinity and no matter how many batches I have made that winter, I always have to make some for him, too.

Philip isn't crazy about things that are super sweet, so his favorite Christmas cookie is actually called Lemon Coolers, and I make those every year for the tins as well.

I usually also include a mini (and I mean mini...it's about the size of two muffins) loaf of some kind of bread. I've been baking Banana Sour Cream bread, but this year I have pureed pumpkin coming out the wazoo since our garden overachieved in the pumpkin department, so I may just keep it simple and go with that.

For the other kind of cookie, I may try something new this year...I kind of have the itch, so we'll see what that winds up being. Historically, I have made something along the lines of chocolate mint. But, who knows!

You know, if the readership of this blog were high enough, I should do something fun like a drawing for someone (local!) to win a bag of Christmas goodies. Wouldn't that be a kick. But, there may only be like 3 of you who read this (hi Mom!)...so maybe I shouldn't bother. :)

Ok, so it looks like there is enough interest to do a give away. How fun!

If you want to "win" the goodie bag, please leave a comment here on the blog. I'll doing the drawing on the 10th and the winner will be notified. :) You do need to be local enough to pick it up or meet me somewhere. :) Unless I am feeling extra generous and decide to mail...which could happen. :)

Month of Memories - December 6th

2010-12-06T21:55:00.000-05:00

Square peg, meet round hole. That's Joshua in a nutshell. He likes to be different, just for the sake of being different. I'll never forget the time that he was in the phase of wearing his underwear backwards...just because he could. So, then one day, he came downstairs with ALL of his clothes backwards...except his underwear, which of course he had on the right way so that everything else was still backwards to his underwear. Riiiggghht. Or there was the time when he went ALL winter without socks. It was 55 degrees in his room at night and the child would not wear socks. I'd go in in the mornings and say "Don't you want socks? Aren't your feet cold?" "Not cold," he'd assure me. I'd feel them and they'd be ice cubes. Then, out of the blue, in MAY he suddenly became inseparable with his socks and wore socks all summer! Go figure.

You gotta love him though because he sure keeps you laughing. And no one would ever accuse him of a lack of personality.

Here is Joshua on "backwards" day :)

Joshua and Andrew have always had a special relationship. He loves being a big brother!

Andrew is very sweet with Joshua, too. He actually always insists on tucking Joshua into bed at night and giving him a goodnight kiss. :)

So, here's the actual memory. When we were at my sister's wedding a few weeks ago, one afternoon Joshua was with my other sister, Deborah, who is 17. He told her "Aunt Deborah, if you're not married by the time I am going to get married...I'll marry you." Awww....how sweet.

And seriously, who could turn this debonair guy down?

Month of Memories - December 5th

2010-12-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

Today I am not remembering something, but rather had a memory made. Today I received my first unsolicited "I love you" from one of the boys. Of course it was from Andrew, my super affectionate one. People have told me repeatedly for years "You'll love being the mom to a bunch of boys. Boys sure do love their mamas." Well, I must confess I really haven't been "feeling the love" the past few years. I mean, yes, we have a very loving home and I know the boys love me and I feel their love for me, but most of the time, all that is expressed are the obligatory good night hugs, kisses and "I love you"s. Andrew has become very demonstrative in the last few months and frequently wants to be snuggled or hugged or kissed. It's very sweet. But today was the first time I ever heard an "I love you" without someone being asked to say it, or it being done out of habit. How sweet it was. :)

Month of Memories - December 4th

2010-12-04T09:37:00.001-05:00

Today I am remembering the promises of God. Let me start off by saying that I am writing to you from a place of pain and spiritual warfare and I would greatly appreciate your prayers.

Many of you have been on this journey through my gallbladder pain for over a year. And I so appreciate those of you who I have stood by me in prayer. I have truly seen the hand of God at work.

I know that some of you don't understand why I have taken the position and path that I have on this issue, but it's for one simple reason. God has told me and confirmed to me many times over the past year that the problems with my gallbladder are a physical representation of a spiritual problem and that when I have dealt with the spiritual problem, He will heal me completely. Let me assure you that this scared no one more than me (after all, it is my body that feels the pain), but I have seen God at work in incredible, sovereign ways over the past year.

Last year over Thanksgiving weekend I experienced a particularly painful attack and was literally on the verge of calling the surgeon the following Monday to schedule the removal of my gallbladder. I was so tired of the pain. But God spoke directly to me and told me that if I removed the gallbladder I would be short-circuiting the work that He was trying to accomplish in me. And so, I waited. The attacks began to subside after Christmas, and really between mid-end of January to mid-July, I had very little trouble at all. Then in July, shortly after returning the mission trip to Nicaragua, I experienced three straight days of pain and God told me, "You still haven't done what you know you need to do" (to make the changes He had made clear I was to make). I was so frustrated because I felt like I had been doing my best and had made progress. This feeling of frustration continued through the summer as I felt like I was really making spiritual progress (although I now realize I was "working" at it the wrong way), but no healing and sense of completion came.

Over the summer, I participated in my first Beth Moore study, on Esther, and while doing the study I decided I wanted to next do her Breaking Free study, and bought the book. Then, a few weeks later I found out that Breaking Free was going to be the women's Bible study offered by McLean Loudoun this fall. I knew without a doubt that this was the hand of God and I knew I had to do that study. So, I have.

Now, from the position of being almost done with the study, I can tell you that I understand WHY I needed to do this study, WHY it needed to be this fall and not earlier, and WHY the healing has not yet come for my gallbladder. God opened my eyes to see the truth of my situation, and I have been humbled and amazed. I am in awe of the mercy and kindness of God. When I could clearly see the lies that I have been believing (that led to the spiritual issue that this has all been about), I was so struck by God's mercy and kindness in dealing with me in the way that He has. He gently led me to the truth and opened my eyes to see it. I can only thank Him for His patience with me and apply myself to tearing down the lies I have believed and re-papering the walls of my mind with God's truth.

As would be expected when a captive (ME!) is approaching being released from the prison of captivity and spiritual freedom that our Enemy would go into hyper-activity to do what he can to prevent the release. I have been experiencing a lot of physical pain related to my gallbladder and digestive system in the past several weeks (coinciding with God's revelation of truth to me) and fully believe it to be spiritual warfare. But I am not going to let Satan win this one. I will be free, by the grace and power of God. And in God's perfect timing (which I believe is soon approaching), I will experience complete healing and redemption in my physical body. God has promised it, and I believe Him.

This is the passage that God reminded me of this morning. A powerful promise that He has spoken to me many times in the past, but I thank Him for the reminder today.

Habakkuk 2:3-4
² Then the LORD replied:    “Write down the revelation
   and make it plain on tablets
   so that a heraldmay run with it.
³ For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
   it speaks of the end
   and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
   itwill certainly come and will not delay.

God is faithful and I trust Him completely. Your prayers on my behalf as this spiritual battle wages and nears its end are much appreciated.

Month of Memories - December 3rd

2010-12-03T13:34:00.000-05:00

Today I am remembering MOPS. I just came home from our first December meeting and, of course, had a lovely time. I remember hearing about MOPS long before I joined and dismissing it as something I didn't need. I wasn't lonely. I didn't feel the need for the support of other moms. I thought "why bother?" But then, 4 1/2 years ago I was approached by my CBS (Community Bible Study) group leader and asked if I would consider joining the leadership team of CFC's (Christian Fellowship Church, where I attended CBS) MOPS group. They were short a Discussion Group Leader and my CBS leader thought I would be a good fit, even though I didn't attend MOPS. I prayed about it, and said yes. My first meeting that fall was a little weird because I had to lead my table...and I had never even been to a MOPS meeting! But, I quickly fell in love with MOPS and began to wonder "Why did I ever think I didn't need this??"

In my five years in MOPS, I have served twice as a Discussion Group Leader, one year as the Prayer/Care Coordinator, and then last year and a half as the Consignment Sale Coordinator. Serving in leadership at MOPS has been a HUGE part of my growth as a person and as a leader. My leadership strengths and weaknesses have been further clarified and I have developed a passion for speaking. I have been blessed to be able to be the speaker twice at our MOPS group, and at several other local MOPS group this fall and coming Spring.

Through MOPS, I have made some incredible friendships. Some with ladies who were friends for a season, and some with ladies who will be part of my life forever.

When I find something I like, I share it with everyone I can, and I can't even count anymore the number of my friends who have joined MOPS through my recommendation and it has been so rewarding to have been able to watch MOPS have a tremendous impact on their lives as a result.

I am so thankful for all that MOPS has done for me. I found myself during my years in MOPS, and I believe that in a large part, it was because of MOPS. So to everyone who has played a part in my MOPS journey...thank you.

Month of Memories - December 2nd

2010-12-02T13:21:00.001-05:00

Today I am decorating a cake for a friend's daughter. As I am doing so, it makes me remember when I first began decorating cakes...years and years ago. Actually, I baked my first cake all by myself when I was 7. I remember that my mom had left the mixer out for me the night before with a note on it that said, "Good luck, Amelia Bedelia!" I must have baked first thing in the morning, before everyone else got up. Isn't it amazing that I remember that....when you think of all the things I have forgotten?! I can even remember which counter the mixer was on. :) I was recently scanning hundreds and hundreds of photos for my parents' 40th anniversary slideshow and photo book and ran across a few of those early cakes that I made.

Here I am with my 7th birthday cake, which I can only assume I decorated:

And I know this one is my handiwork, as I distinctly remember doing many in with the half-color method:

When I was 11, a homeschool mom offered a cake decorating class and I thought "why not?" So, I took it and began my "real" decorating career. :) I decorated like crazy for about 7 years, before heading off to college. It looks like I didn't scan (a few years ago), my really early work, but here's some of my favorites from when I was 14-16.

From 18-24, I didn't decorate a single cake. Never really even thought about doing one. I was little busy going off to college, traveling the world, getting married, having baby, but hey...I am busy now, too. :) Anyway, out of the blue in 2004 I offered to make a friend's baby shower cake. Looking back on it now, it was pretty sad, but it reignited the cake decorating fire. I think this was partly because despite having not touched a cake in 6 years or more, I realized I did a nicer job than I had in the past. I believe this was because my hands had "matured", as had my decorating eye, if that makes sense. And so, it began again. I actually took a couple of classes at Michaels because I was planning to become an instructor. In fact, now that I think about it, I was actually offered a job by Wilton to teach at the AC Moore in Ashburn. But, I turned it down for various reasons and have never seriously considered teaching in that format again.

Sometimes Philip asks me why I decorate cakes since they seem to often cause me a lot of stress. It's true, it is a stressful hobby, but it's one of the few things (maybe the only) that I do that has within a relatively short period of time (a few days), I have created, in its entirety, something beautiful. I love the sense of satisfaction that completing something brings. And, I am (usually) very happy with the outcome.

Here are a few of my favorites from the past 6 years. Oops. It's kind of a lot...and I still left out some I really liked! Oh well. Enjoy!

This was the final cake for the first Wilton class I took at Michaels. Look at all those flowers!

I have always loved this cake. I think if I had to pick an absolute, very favorite ever, it would probably be this one.

This is one of Philip's all time favorites. It was a birthday cake for him back in 2005.

I just loved these little penguins!

Yes, I made my own shower cake. But anyway, this was a favorite, not because of the appearance so much as the taste. Oh my was this cake good! It was a chocolate mousse cake with rich chocolate icing. :)

Joshua's 3rd birthday cake. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a reprise for Andrew's 3rd birthday in May.

I have always thought this cake really needed a top tier (in denim blue!), but even so I really like it because it's so different from what I usually do.

Love these little booties. I did another set around that same time for a little boy shower cake.

Definitely my favorite wedding cake I've done, but since I didn't arrange the flowers, I don't know that I can really take credit for it!

This was my birthday cake last year. I was very grouchy about having to do my own cake (long story), but I did like how it turned out. My sister helped with the gumpaste flowers.

These monkeys turned out sooo cute!

Pink & black....always a favorite combo.

I've done several variations of this cake. I am not sure which one is my favorite, but I did like this one a lot.

Black icing is a pain to make, but I really like using it as a backdrop. I've done several black cakes and really like all of them.

What will 2011 bring in the cake world? Who knows. Stay tuned. :)

And look....I finished today's cake, despite all the procrastinating!

Month of Memories - December 1st

2010-12-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine has resolved to post a memory a day during the month of December. I think this is a great idea, so I am copying it. :) As I am watching and listening to three crazy, noisy boys bouncing and wrestling around the house (they are WOUND UP today!), I remember a time when the below is all we had:

This is Caleb at about 4 or 5 days old. Yes, it was quieter, but I wouldn't trade this craziness for anything. Except for maybe a few days of solitude without my kids every now and then. :)

My (Silly) Boys this Fall

2010-11-30T10:28:00.000-05:00

I just had to share these pictures. I live with some silly people!

Here's the littlest geography buff. Ok, well he still thinks all the States are Georgia, but hey...gotta start somewhere. Andrew is very possessive about this placemat. It's "his". :) He likes to point at the States as he eats and ask what they are. He usually goes by the color groupings.

Then there's this character. Andrew loves to make people laugh. He's the class clown in training.

Caleb and Joshua went on their first camping trip this fall with Philip. They went with other local homeschool dads and sons. They had a blast. Here Joshua is trying to inhale the bugs, I think. :)

Doesn't Andrew look like the poster child for a farm calendar here? I love this picture! We were at Frying Pan Park one day in September. We had tried to go to Cox Farms, but they were closed for "rain". Can't you tell by looking at the sky? Shortly after this, Andrew got stung on the nose by an unidentified bug. It caused his eye to swell and get red. Poor guy. :( It was a fun day, though.

We did make it to Cox Farms later that week. Here's Joshua with his super long neck. This was in the corn maze...the boys LOVED it!

The pumpkin bins at Cox Farms. We had so much fun there that we actually went back a few weeks later, thanks to the kindness of a friend who gave us some free tickets.

The boys dressed up for Halloween for the first time this year. We decided to do it because we were at my parents' house in NC on our way back from the Tybee wedding. We put together some fun costumes for the boys and hit the streets. Neither of the boys really had any idea what trick or treating was about and Joshua's comment after about 30 minutes was "this is way more fun than I thought it would be!" :) It was fun, but I told them we may or may not go again any time soon. But aren't they cute? :) Andrew insisted on having a charcoal mustache, just like Caleb.

Caleb started taking piano lessons this fall. Joshua has been learning alongside him. They both are doing great. Andrew also like to have piano practice. He always points out that he "waits his turn" (which he does). He then bangs around some, and claps his hands counting "1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4" to count out the rhythm. It's hilarious. I am loving having little musicians in the house!

The other resident silly person. Joshua loves a good joke. These glasses were a party favor last year, but just got discovered by the boys recently. Joshua sure loves to wear them!

These are fun days around our house. I am loving the ages of all the boys. It's fun to see them learn and grow in their own ways. It's also been neat to watch the camaraderie continue to develop between the boys. They are such great friends.

Serving as a Family

2010-11-30T10:07:00.000-05:00

This Fall we have had 4 opportunities to serve together as a family. It's been wonderful to be able to get out into the community and do something that matters, and to have the boys right there with us. Everything we did was fun for us as well, which made it even better.

First, we went Apple Gleaning at a local orchard with a few other families from church. We collected well over 1000 pounds of apples in about an hour. We participated with this last year as well, and it is a fun way to serve! The apples were then taken to local shelters to be given to those in need.

Next, our family and two other families from church made dinner and served it to the residents at the homeless shelter in Leesburg. I was a little nervous about doing this, but it was so EASY! We were blessed to be able to eat with some of them as well, and share a little conversation. We also received a tour of the facility. The staff and volunteers there have such a heart to serve. I would really like to do this again sometime.

Third, the older boys and I participated with some other families from church in "reverse trick or treating". We went to a local nursing home and put together treat bags for the residents. Then we went through the halls encouraging people to come to the cafeteria where we had all gathered to have their dinner and hear the kids sing. Some of the residents are unable to leave their rooms, so I asked the staff how to find a few of them that didn't usually have visitors and we went to see them. It was a little difficult for the boys to engage because many of the residents there were quite ill, but I know it brought a smile to the faces of the people we interacted with.

Lastly, Philip and the older boys went with some of the singles from church and members of the Nicaragua team to serve Thanksgiving dinner to the residents at another local home. I made pumpkin pies for that evening, but Andrew and I were too worn out that day to go with the boys. So, I sent the pies in my place. :) The boys all really enjoyed themselves that night and were able to interact with several ladies.

We hope that the church will continue planning service events that are family friendly. They have been a blessing to us and we hope have helped open the eyes of our boys to see how truly blessed we are, and how we have a responsibility to share what we have with others.

Thanksgiving Adventures

2010-11-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

What a wonderful Thanksgiving we had this year! My parents and Deborah came to visit for 4.5 days and we had a great time together! Probably the most memorable will be the woods adventures shared by my dad and the older boys. We live only about a mile from the Potomac River, and between us and the river is woods. Philip and the boys occasionally walk to the river, but they have always taken the same path and so we were unaware there were several other trails through the woods. Caleb, Joshua and my dad thoroughly explored the trails. They found the biggest leaves we've ever seen (about 10" across), an albino squirrel, a squirrel tree home. They forded creeks through the water, and crossed over 30 feet of water on a board. What a grand time. The best part was they couldn't really get lost, with the river on one side and neighborhoods on the other, so they explored without fear. A young boy's dream. :)

In addition to all the woods adventures, both boys stepped up a level in bike riding. Caleb finally learned how to ride without training wheels. He had been really hesitant to try until just recently, so I asked my dad to work with him and Caleb was immediately able to ride the 2-wheeler. Yeay! Joshua had been riding a way too small tricycle and was afraid to move to the bike with training wheels, but he is now riding away on that. How wonderful. These two can now really zoom around the cul-de-sac!

We also took a trip downtown to the American History Museum and National Portrait Gallery and American Art Museum on Saturday (sans Deborah, Andrew and Joshua). Caleb really enjoyed the portrait museum. We weren't sure how he would do there, but he said "I don't know why everyone kept saying I would be bored. I like everything I'm seeing!" His favorites were the unfinished picture of Woodrow Wilson and the license plates that write out the Preamble to the Constitution.

Our last fun for Thanksgiving weekend was putting the Christmas tree up. Caleb and Joshua put on all the ornaments this year!

Caleb Turns 7!

2010-11-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

Caleb turned 7 about 2 weeks ago. I had been anticipating his birthday for so long that it felt like he should be turning 8. :) Anyway, it was a fun celebration. Caleb asked only a placemat of the Canadian provinces for his birthday. Happily, I was able to find one. As well as placemats of Europe and Africa (to complement the one we have of the whole world). Obviously, Caleb and Joshua are still in love geography. It's a love we are happy to encourage. They can identify, by continent, all the countries in the world (or at least 95%), and probably point out at 75-80% on a non-labeled map. They've got me beat, for sure. :)

Caleb has grown up a lot in the last year. He's almost tall enough to turn on the kitchen sink without a stool, he learned how to pound meat and cut vegetables. He's a huge help with carrying things around the house and putting things away. He loves to read and listen to books on CD. He loves to learn, which makes teaching him easy. He and Joshua memorized their first chapter of the Bible in the last month or so: Psalm 1.

He's a great son and we are happy to see that he is learning to become more loving and a better servant to those around him. We love you, Caleb!

A Family Wedding

2010-11-02T12:24:00.004-04:00

This past weekend my sister Liz got married to a great guy, Mike. We were all thrilled to be there to support them. They held their wedding on Tybee Island, in Georgia. The weather was unbelievable and gorgeous the whole time we were there, but especially on the wedding day. Their wedding was very casual, and it was perfect. Here are the bride and groom!

The siblings, spouses, Grandma and Mom and Dad.

The three sisters!

This is my favorite picture from the wedding, at least for capturing the feel of the day.

This is such a great picture!

We stayed at an amazing house practically right on the beach. One of the best things was this huge dining table that could seat 12. We filled it up several times!

Philip and I on the top level of the beach house. Nice view, huh?

Here's Caleb and Joshua enjoying the morning sunrise over the Atlantic. We followed this up by a walk on the beach. We found beached horsehoe crabs, jellyfish, and of course, lots of shells.

My brother Tim was the only sibling not able to attend the wedding...in person. He is studying abroad in Egypt this Fall. However, thanks to my brother Dan and his wife Angela, he was able to watch the wedding live via Skype. He even gave a toast at the reception! And dressed appropriately by wearing wearing a dress shift and tie on the top...and a bathing suit on the bottom. :)

Here's D&A getting the technology set up.

And here's Tim "eating dinner" with us on Friday night. Isn't technology amazing?

We celebrated Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary while we were all together. Their actual anniversary is in about 3 weeks!

I put together a 500+ picture slideshow that spanned from 1945-present. It was so neat to see life happen sequentially!

The boys got to spend time on the beach every day we were there. Silly mommy didn't really think it would be that warm down there, so the boys wore either their jeans...or just underwear. :) Oh well, there weren't many people down there to see it.

My Grandma and Aunt came for dinner on Thursday. It was fun to spend time with them!

Alex and Andrew are only about 4 months apart. They enjoyed coloring together...or just ignoring each other, as 2 year olds sometimes do.

Will is the other California cousin. Here he is posing with Caleb.

It was truly a great weekend. I don't think I would change a thing. Congrats Mike and Liz! We wish you a life time of love and happiness!

If Only....

2010-04-15T14:41:00.000-04:00

I had time to update the blog! Between doctors appointments twice a week for 2 months, blizzards and snow storms, homeschooling, small grouping, Preparing for Marriage class, preparing for a summer missions trip to Nicaragua, keeping up with CBS and MOPS and planning the Spring Consignment sale (which was LAST weekend!)....I've been a little busy. Hopefully, the dust will start to settle soon and I can post some updates. There is obviously a lot to blog about!

Eleven Years

2010-01-16T12:15:00.001-05:00

The night we met 11 years ago:

For those of you who don't know, I had gone out to Seattle to visit a friend of mine that I'd met while on a missions trip. I nearly missed the plane (like I was running through the airport and they closed the door of the plane behind me and we left) because I had gotten lost on my way to the airport. This was back in the day when cell phones weren't everywhere, so of course I didn't have one. I was supposed to meet my parents somewhere so they could take my car. By the time I'd showed up there, they had given up and gone home. My dad thought I decided to not take my trip. Ummmm....who does something like that? Anyway, I barely made the flight by the grace of God. My friend was recently engaged and the three of us decided to go swing dancing, something I used to do a lot in college. Philip was the friend they recruited to come along with us. He almost went and built speakers with a friend that night instead. Think how that would have changed history. :)

Anyway, Philip was nearly everywhere I was the rest of the weekend. We're enjoying remembering that weekend this year, as we do every year. Philip even made pancakes this morning in honor of the fact that we had a pancake breakfast the morning after we met. :) This year is fun because it's the first time the dates and days of the week match up.

Last night we were able to go out on a date thanks to a couple in our small group. We went to a great Japanese restaurant near our house and I actually ordered sushi for the first time. I'm sure that made Philip very happy....he loves sushi. :)

So, here's to lots more years and new adventures together!! We've only just begun. :)

Christmas Memories

2010-01-16T08:56:00.001-05:00

Here's a few more pictures from Christmas that I forgot to post earlier. This is Andrew copying Grandpa again. He was even lounging on the couch the same way. it was pretty funny (but hard to get a good picture!)

The boys had a kitchne project with Grandma one day. They made a kind of super healthy truffles.

The whole family that was together this year!

Our family

Super cute picture of the older boys. Especially great because of the orange shirt Caleb is wearing under his nice matching clothes. :)

Christmas in the Warm South?

2010-01-10T16:50:00.001-05:00

Not quite. Seems like wherever we go for Christmas, we take the cold with us. Oh well. It may have been cold outside, but it was nice and warm inside. :) We spent 11 full days (plus travel) with my family in Charlotte. My parents, as well as youngest brother and sister were there. The boys just love playing with their Uncle Tim and it seems like I hardly saw them the whole time we were there! I, of course, did lots of cooking and baking. I made a Buche de Noel (Christmas Log) for the first time. It was a lot of work, and sadly I wasn't totally thrilled with it. But my dad loved it! He also loved the fudge and divinity I made...Kroboth family tradition! The fudge this year was arguably the best I'd ever made. MMMmmm!

Here's Dad with the meringue mushrooms for the log.

And the finished product:

We went to a lovely Christmas Eve service, which the boys attended with us (except Andrew). We had already gone to see the lights the night before, so we came right home afterwards...that is, after we could get out of the parking lot! We had opened our traditional one gift on Christmas Even before heading to the service. Joshua was especially thrilled!

Caleb's favorite gift was a joint gift for him and Philip, Trans America, which is a railroad strategy game.

He was so excited to receive it!

One of the highlights for the boys was making Marshmallow Soup with Grandpa. One of Joshua's favorite books is Duck Soup and in it Marshmallow Soup is mentioned. In the spirit of silliness and adventure, Grandpa decided to invent some for the boys. It was so much fun they did it twice. :)

We also got to spend time with my Grandmother, Grandma Lucy, and had two lovely visits with her. Which, of course, included a reading of Duck Soup, by Joshua.

There were many games of chess and our checkers played during our visit, especially by these two serious fellows:

Andrew and Grandpa also had fun playing the mimic game. Andrew would do something for everyone else to copy. It started out with tapping patterns on the table and evolved into more complicated things like putting your hands on your head, or your nose, or stretching one direction, or looking under the table. Andrew particularly liked to look under the table because he realized pretty quickly that Grandpa couldn't do that!

Grandpa also dressed up as "Father Christmas" on Christmas Eve to bring in some extra spirit...or maybe he was cold. :)

Grandma and Andrew:

On Christmas morning, we enjoyed Swedish Pancakes, thanks to Philip! He wore bright yellow to make sure we didn't miss him in our bleary-eyed tiredness. :) Just kidding. We always get up at a reasonable time like 8:00 on Christmas!

New Years Eve was very fun. We decided at 6:57 to ring in the Italian New Year with the kids at 7:00. So we did! Then the adults stayed up playing Wise and Otherwise, which is the most fun when everyone is silly...which we all were that evening. Philip, Tim, Deborah and I made it all the way until the New Year before heading to bed. Happy New Year!

Deborah and I on NYE

It was a really wonderful visit and we were sad to have to leave!

More Snow!

2009-12-22T16:25:00.000-05:00

Who would have believed that we would experience MORE snow in December this year!? And who would have thought we would get almost 2 feet! Crazy! In true Hines form, though, we missed it. The last significant snow was Presidents' Day weekend in 2003...which was the weekend that Philip and I took a cruise to the Bahamas. We were clueless and didn't even know it was supposed to snow. We found out by happening to pass a TV on the cruise ship with a news show talking about all the snow in DC! We arrived back in VA to find out car nearly buried at Dulles Airport. Of course we were not prepared for this! Philip was working on digging us out with his hands when two guys came by in a truck looking for people to dig out. What a blessing!

So, anyway, where were we for the Blizzard of '09? Philip and I had made plans to get away for the weekend to Lancaster, PA. We decided to go ahead with our plans, despite the prediction of snow. We took the boys to Philip's parents and headed on to Lancaster. By the next morning, we were snowed in. Fortunately, we were staying at a really nice place and had brought some movies with us! And fortunately, we had brought food for lunch with us and breakfast was provided. They also had a billiards room on site. And who knew I was a pool shark? LOL. Seriously though, I am not sure that I had ever played a game of pool in my life. So, in a few short hours I went from being completely awful to really not that bad.
So, we had a great time, despite the roughly 10" of snow. We safely made it back for the boys and then came home. We were figuring on finding our driveway and house buried...and that's what we found! Fortunately, this time we were prepared. Philip had brought a shovel in the trunk and started digging us IN when we got home!

Service with a smile!

This is as far as he got before Andrew and I were too cold to wait any longer. So, we just walked through the rest to get into the house!

Caleb was pretty thrilled about all the snow. It's really too bad we didn't get to really enjoy it. We left just a day and a half later for NC and weren't able to get out and play in it that day.

The view of our deck. This was a LOT of snow!

Not As OK As I Thought

2009-12-12T11:03:00.000-05:00

Grief is an interesting thing. What amazes me most about it is how it can sneak up on you almost unawares. And how you can "feel" fine, and then be overcome by tears the next minute. My baby was due on Tuesday, but he probably would have been born in the last few days. I really am at peace with losing him, and if you receive a copy of our Christmas letter in the next week or so, you'll see how God has used his precious, short life in my life in amazing ways. YET, this weekend, I am on the verge of tears. Deep ones. Not just the little little ones. I am doing my best not to suppress them when they come, because I've done that before and I have learned that suppressing grief doesn't help you deal with it.

Also coming out of nowhere this weekend are hormones. Close your eyes if you're a male, but I don't usually experience PMS. But this weekend, I am just full of sticklers. How's that for diplomatic? :) Just not myself. Not that I am mad about it, but it's kind of a cruel thing of my body to make me go through this right at the time when I would have been experiencing joy over what my body had done. Maybe that's why it's putting me through this. Perhaps it's my body's way of grieving our loss.

So, if you see me in the next few days. Watch out...I might cry. But just let me, ok? I need to.

Cookie Decorating!

2009-12-10T16:11:00.000-05:00

We hosted a cookie decorating party again this year. It was a blast! It was so funny to watch the kids with their first few cookies. It was kind of a sprinkle dump fest! However, after all the other kids left, Caleb and Joshua decided to decorate more cookies and really did a nice job. They even used my icing bags to pipe around the edges. I was surprised how well they did with that, even Joshua. Maybe I have a future cake decorator on my hands. :)

Caleb:

Joshua:

Andrew was thrilled to get to eat a cookie!

The finished product!

St. Nicholas Day

2009-12-06T15:48:00.020-05:00

This year we celebrated St. Nicholas Day for the first time. We don't include Santa in our Christmas traditions, even though the boys know who he is....or isn't, as the case may be. Anyway, we wanted to incorporate the traditional elements, without confusing what we're really celebrating. And so, enter St. Nicholas Day. If you don't know about the origins of St. Nicholas, you can read about it here, particularly in the Legends and Folklore section. The bottom line is that he was a real man who anonymously gave to those in need. So, we decided to follow the tradition of putting our shoes on the hearth (or outside the door) on the night of the 5th and on the 6th we all opened our stockings. It was a fun way to make Christmas seem longer. And I appreciated having something to celebrate early in the month.

The traditional gifts for St. Nicholas Day are nuts, fruit, candy and/or a small gift.

Here are some pics!

The First Snow!

2009-12-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, December 5th, we got about 6" of snow. No one believed that it would actually happen because we usually don't get much of anything when snow is predicted. The boys were so thrilled with the snow. They were especially thrilled because this year they were able to go sledding. They first sledded on the hill on our court, then ventured out later to the "Sledding Hill" a few minutes' walk away. They had a blast! It was a perfect day. I made potato soup for lunch. Then while on the big hill the boys ran into some friends of ours who came over for hot chocolate and cookies. Then we made Christmas cookies and spent the rest of the day relaxing by the fire. It was delightful! If only all snow days could be so perfect!

Andrew's first snow fun:

Sledding by the house:

Getting ready to go down the big hill with the Klabundes and Miss Morgan!

And a wipe out!

Christmas Cookie Fun!

Reston Town Center Fun

2009-12-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

Recently, we had a beautiful, warm December day, so I decided to take the boys to Reston Town Center. Our primary goal was to see the Gingerbread House display in the Reston Hyatt lobby. But, since the weather was perfect that day, the boys also enjoyed playing in the fountain, looking at the Christmas tree, watching the ice rink be zambonied (is that a word? Do you know I once worked with someone from the Zamboni family?), and enjoying some sweet snacks.

Here are a few pictures from the morning.

Half of the display:

The other half:

My Favorite Building:

Snacks at Panera.

Three Boys at the Fountain:

The Gallbladder...

2009-11-30T19:53:00.000-05:00

Soooo....as many of you know, I have this little problem with my gallbladder. Actually, it's been a really big problem since April of this year. When I finally when to the doctor and had tests runs in Sept/Oct, I was predictably told, "your gallbladder is a ticking time bomb. if I were you, I'd have it out right away." Lovely. Well, I'd already been doing research on gallbladder removals and was concerned by the fact that so many people continue to have related issues even after having the organ removed. So, I didn't want to just jump in and take it out. Five years ago when I had this issue before, God miraculously brought healing to my body and I wanted to seek His will and find out if He was going to do that again...or if I should go ahead and have surgery. The response from God through multiple sources was clear: He wanted to bring healing to me and in the process use this to dramatically change my life.

So, in the meantime, I was to do what I could do, which in my case was to go through a 2 week liver/gallbladder cleanse and detox. If you've never done a liver/gallbladder cleanse, I actually highly recommend it because the liver is so incredibly important and many of us are walking around with poorly functioning livers (simply because of our American diets). Anyway, the cleanse consists of eating only raw veggies (in various forms). Let me tell you, I'd have given anything for a piece of bread! I wasn't really hungry, but I was getting tired of eating the same things. :)

God also made it clear that there was an emotional cleansing that needed to happen...that this wasn't just a physical issue and He has been faithful to direct me through this process. I have cried more in the last month than I have in the past several years combined. It's just amazing what's been coming up...and out.

So, where does this leave me? I am currently on a modified liver friendly diet and it's helping immensely. Most days I feel good. God is clearly at work in me, but is also clearly not finished with this process. I tell you, it's so tempting to just go "sign up" for the surgery to get this over with, but God has made it clear that that would short-circuit this process and I am not about to do that.

I would appreciate your continued prayers for total healing for me: body, mind and soul. I hope that one day soon I can share the amazing work that God has DONE.

Quoteables and such things

2009-11-16T14:35:00.001-05:00

Having kids is great for hearing funny things! Such an example just occurred. Joshua just walked in and said, "Mommy, there is a miracle on the playground! The slide is dry, but the playground is wet!" I guess he was channeling the story of Gideon and fleece and proclaiming this happening to be a miracle. Love it.

Joshua, as you may know, is our energetic kid. When he was three, we nicknamed him Tigger because he didn't walk anywhere...he BOUNCED. And sometimes, he would accidentally walk somewhere, turn around and go back to the beginning...and then bounce! Anyway, a few weeks ago, we had just returned home from church on a Sunday morning when Joshua informed us, "I have a lot of bouncing to do today." And he did. :) He also thinks he can fly. He is also convinced that the airtime achieved when jumping off the ottoman or his bed is "flying"

Andrew is just starting to talk, but is becoming a good communicator, and a good listener. He still loves his mama and now will attach himself to me if he thinks I may be heading out the door without him. Last week, I was getting ready upstairs and he wouldn't let go of my legs, so (since he was coming along) I asked him, "Andrew, where are your shoes" figuring that would distract him for a while. He left...and about 3 minutes later came trotting back upstairs with both his shoes. It was so cute!

The other night, after Caleb and Joshua had given me "hugs and kisses" at bedtime and run off upstairs for the nighttime routine, Andrew walked over to where I was sitting and pulled on my sweatshirt saying "iss, iss." I realized he was asking for a kiss, so I leaned over, he kissed me and then headed upstairs after the boys. So sweet!

Just for my own remembrance, off the top of my head, he has words for:

mama

dada

Caleb

Joshua

down

banana

milk

oatmeal

shoes

socks

diaper

outside

book

ball

baby

apple

kiss

blanket

music

off

thank you (signs please)

car
Yes (he nods)
NO!

By the way, Andrew is finally walking!! He started almost 3 weeks ago at 17.5 months. He had been taking up to 6 steps for 2-3 months, but one day just decided he was really gonna do it. I love his stage when they toddle around. So adorable to watch.

Caleb has had his share of quoteables recently, but they are kind of hard to share without understanding all the context. However, a few weeks ago I had gone shopping at Kohls and had some things for Philip to try on and a few sweaters for myself. I was explaining to him the frustration of being a mom because when you have babies, your size keeps changing and sometimes something you bought the year before is either too big or too small now (fortunately, everything is too BIG!). I was explaining that guys don't usually have this problem because they don't have babies. Later that day, we were having dinner and Morgan, the church intern who lives with us, was upstairs and Caleb was filling her in on why I had been clothes shopping that day. He was explaining about the size fluctuations that occurred. Then, he pointed out to her that boys don't normally have this problem. Morgan almost feel out of her chair laughing. She also almost spewed us all with Diet Coke, but fortunately avoided that problem! It was hysterical. That was just nothing something you expect to hear from a 5 year old boy. Maybe you had to be there... :) Classic.

A Good Reminder

2009-10-12T19:33:00.005-04:00

Today is our 7th anniversary. It was spent in rather unconventional ways, but it ended well. We went to dinner as a family and then subjected the boys to parts of our wedding and reception video footage. :) Anyway, Philip and I have a tradition of keeping a journal where we record our monthly "memorable" moments. Then at the end of the year, we go through the months of the past year and pick our top 10 favorite memories, which we then record in a different journal, along with our goals for the next year. So, this morning, while I was being radioactive during my gall bladder HIDA scan and laying under some machine and unable to move, Philip read me the list of all our highlights of the past year. It's amazing how much we forget over time and it was so good to be reminded of all the wonderful things that have happened in the last 12 months...many of them in 2009. A year I said I'd really like to move past. And I would in a lot of ways. However, this really has been a wonderful, special year. It was good to get a reminder.

A New Year?

2009-10-08T16:20:00.004-04:00

Is 2009 over yet?? Just wondering because this year has been a doozy and we're kinda ready to move on. First, I must say, we are SO blessed and SO grateful for all we have and the ways the Lord has shown us His favor. However, that doesn't mean that all is good, you know? This year has just been chock full of struggles in the health department...and almost all have affected me. It's tough being a mom no matter what. It's even tougher when you're under the weather or operating at a sub-par level. Especially when you believe in doing things with excellence.

I'm sure many of you remember the strep epidemic that was our house this Spring, with me having six cases of it before we finally figured out the boys were silent carriers. Let me tell you, any twitch of the throat strikes fear in my heart now! Joshua was found to be carrying strep again in August (and again with no symptoms), so we're going to have to keep a really close eye on him. We don't want a repeat performance!

Then, I got pregnant. This was good news and we were so excited about welcoming a new family member (another boy, who we had already named) as our family Christmas gift. However, as you all know, 13 weeks into the pregnancy, I again miscarried. Not only was this upsetting, but the residual effects of this pregnancy have been very stressful, difficult and ongoing. As soon as I conceived, I started experiencing gall bladder attacks several times a week. Many of you probably don't know that I had gall bladder problems almost 6 years ago that were triggered by Caleb's birth. I suffered tremendously for 4 months, but felt strongly that God would heal me and that I should not remove the organ. He did heal me, and I did not have it removed. I was subsequently pregnant four times with no reemergence of the problem. Until I conceived this Spring. I was hoping and praying that with the loss of the pregnancy and resuming hormonal normalacy that the attacks would stop. They didn't. I continued to experience weeks with no problem, then weeks with 2-3 attacks. I put off going to a doctor because I just didn't want to be told "Have it out." Well, September 3rd changed that. I was 20 minutes from leaving for the airport to fly to Seattle when I went from feeling perfectly fine, to on the floor yelling in pain. For 15 terrible minutes I thought about how unfortunate it was I was going to be going to the ER instead of the airport. Then, mercifully, the pain stopped. And I left for the airport and had a delightful time in Seattle. Although, let me tell you....trepidation and fear filled me as I consumed my next meal at 35,000 feet in the air. I almost warned my seat partner of what could happen, but didn't. Anyway, after this occurred, Philip said "that's it. I'M making you an appt!" Predictably, the doctor said "you should probably have it out," however before I make that decision we are having some testing done. This morning I had an abdominal ultrasound to see if there are stones in my gall bladder. (Five years ago it was 1/3 full of stones). This coming Monday (our 7th anniversary, btw), I will have a HIDA Scan, which is a procedure where they test the functionality of the gall bladder. If it comes back at less than 30%...I am in trouble. So, please pray.

Also triggered by the miscarriage was a journey over the summer into depression. I knew something was wrong because I just didn't feel like myself, but I figured it was just the hormones equalizing. However, in September, it became unavoidably obvious that something serious was wrong. I went to see someone and was diagnosed with a serotonin deficiency. Once I started reading about the symptoms of that, it all made perfect sense. I am taking some steps right now to try to correct things naturally, but would appreciate your prayers for wisdom. This news really rocked my world because of what has happened to my mom. About five years ago she was diagnosed as bi-polar in an experience over a few months that was horrifying and emotionally terrible to watch and live through. And something I never want to have to face myself. (Although, it entirely possible that what happened to her was a result of mismanagement of her case, more than it was something genetically predisposed to happen) Finding out that I was already on the edge of depression horrified me. The good news here is that we caught this early...and there is certainly no guarantee that things will go any further...but the possibly is there. And is scares me.

Not only has the "depression" (and I hate to call it that because I'm not exactly depressed) caused me to be somewhat emotionally flat, unstable and sometimes apathetic (all things that I normally am NOT), it has also caused me to feel scattered and overwhelmed and forgetful. As someone who has always been able to handle multiple balls in the air with ease, this has been quite frustrating. Like this morning when I showed up for my ultrasound without the required doctor's order I had left on my desk. Or two weeks ago when I got to the grocery store, only to realize I'd left my wallet at home, which normally wouldn't have been a big deal because I have a debit card on my key chain, but I had accidentally paid a bill twice and that day was in danger of overdrawing the account! So, home I went... But I don't normally do these things! Or feel like I am buried under a mountain of things to do with no way out. It's so frustrating. And don't try talking to me on a day when I haven't had enough sleep...I might not be able to tell you my name! HA!

So, here's the good news for me. God is in control. Boy can I say that I do NOT understand, like or appreciate what is going on in my life right now. But, I do know that God's word tells us that He can work ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (that would be me!). I am not trying to over-spiritualize, but it sure is nice to know that He has this under control, even though I don't get it. And that one day I'll hopefully be able to look back and say "Oh, that's why that happened."

Annual Zoo Fun

2009-09-19T19:27:00.004-04:00

For the last several years, we have taken a family trip to the National Zoo on Labor Day weekend. Since I was in Seattle on Labor Day this year, our zoo trip got pushed back a week. The weather was perfect the day we went. Most cloudy and about 70 degrees. No one got hot or cold. Amazing. And since it was cooler, many of the animals were out enjoying themselves. Philip's mom and dad met us at the Zoo for the day and we all had a great time. Here are some pictures from the day.

This was the second year we got great views of the pandas.

The elephant family was out to get a drink from the pond.

Grandma and the boys by the lioness

Andrew in the small mammal house since he is...a small mammal. :) (isn't his shirt adorable?)

Look at that cute face? I mean really...who couldn't love this kid?

Andrew looking seriously cute on the play cube we moved from the yard to the deck. He was wandering off the deck all over the yard, so we moved this up here, and closed off both deck exits. Now he can safely play to his heart's content. But while he can climb the slide and maneuver all over this thing...he is still, at 16 months+, not walking.